First, I’d like to thank the Academy for allowing me to host such a prestigious event. It’s been the highlight of my year, so far. But, all good things must come to an end. It’s time for the big one, the “Brass Balls” Award. And the nominees are:
Attitude Aaron for “Do you actually think that you’re going to change our habits by being so strict with how we submit our homework?”
Missed-the-Entire-Week-After-the-Test Mark for “Can I have my test back? Well, why don’t you have it with you?”
Delusional Denise for “I can’t believe you don’t accept late work. All of my other professors do.”
Airhead Anna for “What’s this syllabus thing you keep talking about? Oh, you mean that paper we got on the first day.”
Foolish Freddie the Football Player for “Dude, you must be deaf.” (See “Post-Exam Smackdown”)
And the winner is . . .
No one. You’re all fucking losers.
(Based on a true story. In the past 10 days, students actually said these things to my face.)