The Snarklepuss University Newsletter reports that last year's Charity Fundraising Event was a "resounding" success, raising $4000 to "feed the homeless."
A-hem.
Although I am happy to support smart initiatives to help those who are in need, the Charity Fundraising Event is always mismanaged and is an enormous undertaking. Having been coerced into involvement in previous years, I know the usual budget and resources the Event: an initial investment of approximately $20,000 and hundreds of hours of "donated" (read: coerced) labor from folks around the university.
Tickets sold to the event must cover all uni-incurred ($20K) expenses along the way. Any remaining profits are donated to charity.
So. The upshot of our institution's $20,000 investment and hundreds of hours of "donated" labor is... a profit of $4,000??? I'm sorry, but I don't see how that constitutes a "resounding" success. The "donated" labor often occurs during the work day, and if it were calculated according to people's hourly wages, I'm pretty sure it costs the university more than $4K.
It reminds me of the (red) campaign: it's more about a consumer group/community feeling good that they're "helping" a cause than actually doing something helpful. "Sure, I'll buy $50 in tickets! I loooove to 'help' the needy, especially if I get something out of it, too!"
Wouldn't the hungry homeless be just as well served by organizing hundreds of hours of food pantry / homeless shelter / clothing drive work? And couldn't the uni just donate $4,000 out of pocket, sparing its employees all the coerced labor?
I think it's worth problematizing.
...Ah, what's that you say? Direct donations to those in need, without a ginormous eye-catching consumer-based event, wouldn't result in a boatload of positive PR for the university???
My, my. You're even more cynical than me.
But..but...but! They made $4000 for the homeless!!!
ReplyDeleteHow can you be so selfish!!?!?
You over-educated, over-compensated college professor, you! With your $100,000 a year salary. And your smug self-satisfaction at only working 5 hours a week and with SUMMERS OFF!
You don't really work. You just suckle at the government's teat! How DARE you even question the goodwill and beneficence of your employer?!?!?!
I am disgusted by you. Your administration is filled with wonderful, giving, hardworking businessmen and businesswomen who care about their community.
How can you question their motives?
Dr. Snarky, is it really as bad in Canada/Australia as it is in the U.S.? I'm guessing you're in one of those countries, because nobody in the U.S. calls it "uni." I thought this fundraising shit was just the American idiotic way of doing things. This is sooooooooooooo depressing.
ReplyDeleteIt's just like the "World's Finest Chocolate" fundraising scam; students sell chocolate bars for their school and get prizes. The only problem is that the school gets very little (maybe $1200) and most students get cruddy things like wall-walkers and cheap knockoff Walkman-style radios that are nowhere worth the effort and time wasted*. After your first experience you want nothing to do with it, but every year afterward the school does WFC or some other scam, and it becomes a joke.
ReplyDelete_______________________________
* None of the prizes they ever offered were out of the reach of the kid who had an after-school job and was willing to save up for them, and even then that student would be buying the higher quality name-brand version.
The "Charity Fundraising Success" was, in fact, a profit of NEGATIVE $16,000. Sweet.
ReplyDeleteWe do the same sort of kooky crap at my school, though they temporarily outlawed bake sales due to hysteria over the swine flu being transmitted via cookies and cupcakes. What asses they are.
Naturally, bake sales and other stuff like that are the main way some of our clubs and departments make enough cash to survive, but our big events, like Spring Fling, held out on the grass, is pointless and costly.
Hey, administrators: Why don't you just cancel the weenie roasts, dunking booths, and jumpy castles and divide the cash up into a check for each adjunct this semester?...Naw...that'd be too good for morale...better just coddle the snowflakes some more. Barf.