Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Mid-week Smack

Sad Sandy:  I don’t know what to tell you.  I demo’ed the experiment before your eyes and mine didn’t turn yellow.  Yours did.  If you think your dirty glassware isn’t the problem, by all means, just stand there and whine.  That will get results. 

Maury the Marvelous:  Of course I’m not insulted because you tsk’ed, rolled your eyes, and walked out to take your lunch early because you thought I made a mistake.  It couldn’t be that you don’t know how to use your mother fucking calculator and you were one crucial “)” away from the right answer.  I hope you enjoyed getting hung out to dry by your classmates.  I enjoyed watching it.  It’s so strange that they’d stone-wall you about what you missed when all you did was skip out of class early, come to lab late, and expect them do prep shit for you and share notes.  Don’t they know you’re Maury the Fucking Marvelous? 

Nice Nina:  That idiot was going to fuck up everyone’s experiment.  I don’t know where you channeled that alternate personality from, but invite her back next week.  When you growled at him to drop the fucking wet scoop before sticking it in the reagent bottle, I fell in love with you.  You’re probably crying on your pillow right now because you were “mean”.  But you weren’t.  You saved the day for Slow Sammy and Melinda Molasses, (who were on line behind him, again). 

Contentedly Mediocre Carl:  I’m glad you’ve decided to settle for Bs when you’re smarter than 99% of all of the students I’ve ever had.  That kind of acceptance will come in handy when Maury gets the job you deserve because he’s a back stabbing fucktard bastard who isn’t worthy, mentally or morally, of licking your shoes.   But maybe, just maybe, you could talk to Nina about how to channel alternate personalities, because if you put Maury in his place, just once, all of the girls in class would swoon at your feet. 

PS – stop being so fucking hot. 


  1. Why does Wombat of the Copier hover over school buses? I mean, why not, you know, copiers?

  2. Because, if you knew anything about how to conduct sound research (wikipeda articles, duh), you'd know that "Wombats defend home territories centred on their burrows, and they react aggressively to intruders." (It's ok to use that whole sentence, because I put quotes around it.) I've deemed my department my burrow and flakes intruders. I'm sorting the chillins in advance. I hope you're not at the institution on the left, because that's the bus loaded with dead wood. I'm watching them leave to be sure.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.