Friday, October 1, 2010

A Polite Request, OK, several...

Sigh, not all snowflakes are students. Sometimes those of us in front of the classroom can do it too. A few, polite, requests...

1. End your class on time! Yes, I know, your subject is the most interesting, valuable, bestus subject EVAH! But we have just a few minutes between classes and I need to get onto the computer, bring up my Powerpoint, load a couple of short videos, check to make sure the audio is on, etc. I really would like to be ready when class starts and not try to do all that while simultaneously trying to teach. (OK, once in awhile happens to everyone, but every damn class?!?!)

2. Wipe the white board clean please. The next prof may want to use it as well. And put the cap back on the marker! Do I need to remind you to flush too????

3. For God’s sake, DON’T LOCK THE TEACHERS’ COMPUTER USING YOUR PERSONAL ACCOUNT! I don’t have time to both reboot and get set up!

4. Put the damn chairs back. Yes, I know, you love to have your class in touchie-feelie kumbaya circles. I don’t. Just ask the students to please put the chairs back into roughly orderly rows when you’re done. I’ve taken to going to my classroom in off hours to put them into some sort of order.

Thank you…..


  1. 5) When the white-board marker dies...throw it out. XO, BlackDog.

  2. Regarding Item #2, speaking as someone who works at a college with locked, dedicated faculty restrooms, I can tell you they don't flush either. We accuse our students of being in their own world, but at least some of my colleagues are their own special brand of prof-flake.

  3. I'll have my students put the chairs back in rows for you if you'll have your students put them back in a circle for me.

  4. I'll have my students put the chairs back in rows for you if you'll have your students put them back in a circle for me.

    Fine, except that the prof after me doesn't want them in a circle either. More than 10 classes use that room, only 1 of which does the circle thing...

  5. I should add, that if there was just the circle class and mine, I'd be happy to oblige...

  6. 6. If some students want to confer with you after class, fine -- but take it out into the hall, or at least into a corner of the room away from the technology cockpit, so I can accomplish the tasks in #1 above.

    I tend to agree with both Mark and Tom on the circle thing: on the one hand, I'm annoyed at the assumption that rows are the default, since the assumed default affects the registrar's conception of what size class can reasonably fit in what room (circles take up more room than rows). Rows *aren't* the default in my department; in fact, my colleagues would look at me askance if I tried to teach with students in rows, and for good reason: it's really hard to conduct a discussion when most of the students have their backs to a substantial proportion of the class. The fact that chairs start out set up in rows just increases student resistance to discussion (as opposed to my imparting wisdom, which they seem to prefer).

    This is mostly a moot point for me these days, since the majority of my classes take place in computer classrooms with fixed stations. Some are in rows parallel to the front and back walls of the room; some are in rows parallel to the side walls of the room. I prefer the latter.

  7. 7. Make sure the class is clean from all of the food that you allowed. Do the cleaning before the class ends and not as we are coming into the room.

    8. If you need to talk to students, that's fine. Just get the f*ck out of MY classroom.

  8. #2 goes for chalkboards too. I walked into my classroom this afternoon to see stuff on the board from 2 different classes (looked like English and Psych), so I had 2 snowflake colleagues screwing with me today! At least the flake teaching Tom Sawyer didn't violate #1 today too.

  9. We have a touchy-feely department, too, so in order to end the fights we have one classroom set up with a circle and the rest in rows. Haven't heard a bitch about that problem yet this year, but maybe it's because my ears are full of bitching about the guy handing out the keys, the slow intrauniversity mail system, and a gazillion people not able to read the directions on how to find the examrooms.

  10. To the teacher in the classroom before me:

    If you leave the classroom before I arrive, do NOT shut the door. It is locked. I do NOT have time to walk down to the other end of the hall, wait while the snowflake lab assistants look at each other to see who is going to move first, wait some more while the unlucky one finds the proper key card, follow the lab assistant back down the hall, and watch as they fumble with the key card lock until the door finally clicks open.

  11. 9. But none of the above (except for the part about wiping the fracking blackboard) applies if you're holding a midterm. I entirely understand that you can't get the bloody snowflakes out of the room. Especially the ones who are just straying into class for the first time today. Just cut me the same slack for MY midterm.

  12. There is a proffie at my fifth-rate school who needs to read this post because my size 11 Bostonians are going up his ass again this week.

    Listen, jackass, your class ends at 10 minutes past the hour, not five minutes. Stop being rude to your students and my class. Show respect for all of us, jackass.

    Also, I teach a large motherfucking class. Your rudeness means I lose five minutes of my class time cleaning up your shit. Put the tables and chairs back where they belong.

    If you don't know how to do it, then look at the fucking diagram on the wall.

    So, last week, when I consistently walked in at the 10 minute mark, that was a large middle finger to you and a size 11 Bostonians going up your then tight sphincter.

    Be a dear, jackass. Show some motherfucking respect for all concerned or your class can listen and watch as I prepare for my class. Since I have four times the students you do, good fucking luck on talking above their din, jackass.


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