Anyway, after imbibing several pale ale beverages last night, I did a mad dash through my share of cover letters for a decent enough 3/3 t-t job at my pleasant (though not Williams-like) liberal arts college in the northeast.
In a closing paragraph of one of the last letters I got to before sleep overtook me, I read this (or a close approximation):
"I will admit that Xxxxxxxx College was not on my radar when I first began seriously choosing an academic home. But the recent nationwide economic collapse has led me to widen my view a bit and consider a more diverse group of colleges, even ones with extraordinarily heavy teaching, smaller endowments, or locations far from my desired home base."
And I thought, "Oh, Goodie!"
Anyone out there on the market? Take this paragraph or anything like it out of your letter. Seriously, Turtle.
Horst!
Somebody, perhaps well-meaning, told that job seeker to specify why they are interested in the job. And this is the wrong way to go about it!
ReplyDeleteWe will admit that Candidate Gumdrop T. Unicorn actually had a shot when we first began seriously choosing an academic colleague. But the recent nationwide economic collapse has led us to narrow our view a bit and consider a more appropriate group of applicants, such as those that do not consider a 3/3 teaching load "extraordinarily heavy", and those that would be glad of a full-time tenure-track job even if it isn't in their hometown. Thus Gumdrop T. Unicorn does not meet our needs at this present time. In fact, the hiring committee has decided that we would be quite happy if he could do us the favor of perishing horribly.
ReplyDeleteholy crap
ReplyDeletewhat an idiot
If you think they're going to notice that there is something conspicuous about your interest in their school, you say "...widen my search. And I am glad, because when I stopped to look, I was pleasantly surprised that..." and make up some things about the place you actually like besides that you literally need a job, and maybe seal it off with something cliche like "...I guess the silver lining of the current economy was that it provided the impetus for me to discover a great school like ____". AND LEAVE OUT THE CRITICISM OF THE JOB DESCRIPTION because that is basically TELLING your hopeful future employer that YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THAT JOB!!
I'm not hungover, but I am tired, so I would polish my replacement suggestion if I were in this position. But I am trying to say that there is a way to aleviate the search committee's potential recognition that you're over qualified, or not immediately appearing to be a long term fit.
I've been on search committees a number of times over the past 10 years, and there are always bonehead paragraphs like this out there.
ReplyDeleteWe once hired someone who had a ridiculously arrogant paragraph in his letter. It was a lousy year for candidates, and he had so much going for him otherwise.
After a year on the job I mentioned it to him and he turned red. "My advisor insisted I put it in my letter," he said. "He told me never to let a search committee push me around."
Yikes; yes; idiotic. But I have to say I fielded my share of implicit or explicit "why would you want this job given your background?" questions when I was on the job market (which was during another bad patch for humanities hiring -- which is probably just another way of saying I'm under the age of 65). I was never quite sure what to say, other than to emphasize the fit between my interests and what I knew of the hiring department's needs. Such exchanges generally took place during convention interviews, which suggests that taking the same approach -- emphasizing fit/the positive -- in my job letters probably worked. On the other hand, I only got to the campus-interview stage a few times, which suggests that I could have handled the questions better (the unfinished diss probably played a role, too).
ReplyDeleteNO wait. If you feel that way, leave it in, so search committees will know to set your application aside.
ReplyDeleteBelieve it or not, I've seen much, much worse. People make the most amazing personal revelations in their letters. But my favorite was the applicant who declared himself "a man on the verge of a completed dissertation and a whole new life" in his cover letter. That one really took the cake.
ReplyDeleteAnd no, as far as I'm aware, it wasn't Yaro. (thank you, I'll be here all week)
Eeew, once there was an application from a man who said he could picture himself rambling around our campus, copy of Famous Campus Poet in his back pocket, like Emerson. Exactly the image of our department we were invested in killing off.
ReplyDelete@Hungover Horst
ReplyDeleteGood to hear from you; your posts on conferences at RYS were always the most interesting.
I would hire this candidate but on the condition that they be put through a "Wall of Fire" challenge to see if they are truly worthy. I have ideas, but they cause controversy here. You and your collegues could come up with something that could melt the snow off the flake, nothing too bad, because in all probability this is another case of hack advisorship.
ELS hired the candidate with the ridiculously arrogant paragraph. Perhaps the paragraph is a good thing, after all? The goal is to get hired, right? Who cares what CM commenters think. The end justifies the means.
ReplyDeleteThe ends only justify the means if you're Lenin in 1917....what ELS and his group did was what a used car buyer does; judge a vehicle by its attributes while weighing any shortcomings. In that case the student was like a used Buick with a big dent in the right front fender; it was promising but it had a defect that could be worked around (you can buy a new fender and have the car re-painted). It was only because the other candidates were Yugos or clapped-out Toyopets that they hired the guy. The paragraph was a blot and the guy was lucky.
ReplyDelete