Saturday, November 6, 2010

I have had this exact conversation


  1. did you get access to my online class e-mails with Sam the Slug? Thanks for vocalizing the conversation perfectly, though I am WAY cuter in person, and I never imagined Sam looking anything like Einstein. Yikes!

  2. It's interesting that localized power failures seem to occur so frequently around due dates. So too do car accidents and deaths in the family.

  3. I had a student this term tell me his browser had a error and it didn't submit his WebAssign HW. The student claimed that all the green checkmarks had been there. Apparently it was a vicious browser issue since it also wiped all of Webassign's records, as well.

  4. "What difference does it make to you?"

    There's always a stomach-turning rhetorical change of direction in these conversations. Lying and then supplication having failed, LLC inevitably lurches into aggression, as he attributes his drooling vandalism of academic standards(which guarantees him a future in the earn-thousands-by-stuffing-envelopes-at-home industry followed by a lengthy hiatus under a bridge) to one of the following:

    --our capricious yet fastidious rules against submitting weeks late

    --our single-minded and discriminatory antipathy for LLC fueled by a)our latent lesbianism (even if we're male), b) our elitist notions that students should think, c) the poles projecting from our butts, d) our evident need to get laid (see part a), and e) our suckiness

    --our pitiable delusion that our courses count for sh_t when envelope-stuffing pays so handsomely and will soon qualify LLC and his frat brothers to buy us and our lesbian-infested campus

    --our complete disconnect from the real world, as evidenced by our wardrobes without Hollister, Ecko, or Abercrombie logos.

  5. These shorts give me such joy. They start with the wary guardedness that accompanies any email or visit from a student. Then I laugh as the student lies or squirms. Finally, the answer we'd all love to say in person, but never do. It's rather like seeing the end of Inglorious Basterds.

    (What? Haven't seen it? Go. Now.)

  6. This is just wonderful. I have an on-line test coming up next week and cannot wait(!) for what folks come up with this time.

  7. issyvoo:
    It's interesting that localized power failures seem to occur so frequently around due dates. So too do car accidents and deaths in the family.

    That's why all you proffies need to stop assigning exams and major papers. Can't you just see the calamities invited by such a reckless determination to assess student performance?! [Helen Lovejoy]"Won't somebody please think of the grandparents!?"[/Helen]

  8. oooooooh, the infamous "some other students..."

  9. Hmm. I can't relate here at all. I do online quizzes all the time. I have only very rarely had a problem.

  10. A real problem? No. A fake problem? A whole other question.

    If you're on Moodle and the test times out on you it won't let you press "submit". But it still saves your answers. On Blackboard it lets you press "submit" but it marks which of y our answers were answered after the set test time. I prefer the Blackboard approach but use Moodle because it is otherwise superior (only the quiz function sucks).

    But next term I'm going back to in-class multiple choice questions even if they do waste 4 lectures. Pity, but the amount of cheating on th eonline tests got too much.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.