Caveat: The grand super-majority of my students are better than this. The special, 'flakey few, though. Grrr.
1-. Look up the dates for the finals on the university website, or perhaps come to class in the last two weeks of the term, when I explain it to those who attend. Otherwise, FOAD. In order to defend myself and my long-suffering department chair/asst chair/front desk, I will guide you clueless fuck-nuggets in order to spare them the pain.
1+. Thanks to the non-flakes who did pay attention, who did look up the dates, and who asked for clarification on a confirmatory (rather than clueless) basis.
2-. If you're going to challenge me on my grading, do it in a timely fashion. And don't claim to have read the key when it is bloody well clear to me that you have not bothered to compare my key to your test. Part of due diligence is using the information available to you.
2+. Thanks to the good ones who use the information, and on occasion add to it, appreciate my effort on that basisi, and help me to improve it.
3-. If you're going to cheat, at least attempt to do so in a creative, subtle fashion. But your acting skills are very nice when you ask me why you lost all those points on that case - the one on which you transparently, provably cheated. The only reason that I'm not zeroing out the entire test and pressing charges is that it is not worth the pain.
3+. Thanks to the good ones, who do not cheat, or at least do so in a creative, hard-to-detect manner.
Hey, Cerberus, you have a duty to turn in cheaters! Kindly do it, because if you don't, I'll have to deal with this pea-brain.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that drives me batshit loco is lying, when it's SO transparent and unimaginative, and NOT EVEN NECESSARY. I am still fuming over a case from this afternoon. That student's grade is in my hands: and I am going to treat it carefully!
Why oh why do they make it hard for you to turn in cheaters? While our Ministry of Few Consequences is, uh, light on the consequences, we get to turn in suspected cheating with or without evidence. They'll do the work and they always make the decision as to guilt or innocence, as well as determining the penalties (the most I get to do is, if the student is found guilty, give an F or a 0 on the assignment, not in the class, alas). And that lightening of my load, my friends, is priceless.
ReplyDeleteFFF
ReplyDeleteUh, no. I'm an adjunct, and won't be dying on that particular hill. I'm exposed enough by maintaining my content/grading standards. Besides, I wad able to zero out the cases because their attempted solutions were not responsive to the case statement. You can fight on that hill, protected by your TT status.
I'm sorry about your situation as an adjunct. OK, when this student arrives in my class, I'll make sure he/she/it is sorry, afterwards.
ReplyDeleteThe odds of these knucklheads getting near you are negligable.
ReplyDeleteActually, the odds of these knuckleheads getting much too close to be are decidedly non-negligible. I teach Intro-Astronomy-for-Non-Majors, a general-ed class heavy in freshpeople and the patently unprofessional, childish behavior that goes with them. Just today I had a poly-sci freshperson lie to me straight-faced, even though it was unconvincing and NOT EVEN NECESSARY.
ReplyDeleteCerberus, where I teach, even grad student instructors get to turn in the form, with or without evidence, etc. It's not that everything is equal across the board -- it's definitely not -- but the Ministry of Few Consequences treats every instructor as equal. And if you're wrong that the student plagiarized, or it can't be proven? As far as I know, no big deal. I'm pretty sure that this "depersonalizing" of the system for dealing with plagiarism doesn't result in vengeful false accusations willy-nilly, either. Treat people like professionals, and they tend to act like them. So I am really sorry your institution isn't doing that.
ReplyDeleteCerberus, I like how you balanced the - and the + students. Thank gods for the +.
ReplyDeleteAs for the cheaters, I'm with Marcia (and apparently at a similar institution). Are you worried about being the adjunct who students complain about to the dept. chair? A valid worry, but misplaced if you have solid evidence,
a CYA* syllabus and a clear cheating policy that students sign on Day 1.
It is supremely satisfying to hand a student a copy of the evidence that she cheated (my favorite: the Wikipedia entry, word for word), along with a copy of the syllabus and her signature on the cheating policy, with key parts highlighted. I've never had a student go complaining to the chair after being busted this way.
(Not that I haven't had complaints. There was the Dinosaur Snack who complained to the chair that I took a day off work to care for my little son who broke his arm, and also that I assigned some chapters of the textbook out of order. Unfortunately, I never caught her cheating.)
* I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours. CYA = Cover Your Ass. What's FOAD? The only word I think I know is the F.
I do have proof if it does come up - I want the simplest solution to the problem.
ReplyDeleteNow if I catch this stuff on the final, well, that's different.
As for FOAD, it's short for Fornicate and Die.