Day 1...and counting

It was the first day of classes at LD3C, and (naturally) I met with several sections of differing levels of college writing. In every section, there were students who were outright hostile in the ways in which they communicated with me, copping attitudes that shocked me (and some of their classmates) and behaving in ways that were completely inappropriate in college classrooms. I had to take two students aside and warn them that their continued bad behavior would earn them one-way tickets out the door.

Bad behavior? Forget texting in class (which is something I'm strict about). One student talked on her cell during class. Talked on it! When I told her to put it away, she glared at me and put it somewhere she thought I couldn't see, switching to texting. (This–and the fact that she said snottily, "You may call me MS. Smith, and you'd better not call me nothing else"–earned her an after-class chat.)

Another student kept telling me that my classroom policies were "deep." I asked him to clarify, and he said, loudly, "How do you expect us to go two hours without eating nothing? Why can't we record the class without you saying so? Deep!" Forget that class meets for just over an hour and this student had no recording device with him.

This same gem of a student asked me if we'd be writing novels in class. Instead of answering as I wanted ("Mary Mother of God, I hope not!"), I explained the difference between fiction and nonfiction, between essays and novels. Then he asked, "Well, can we read some novels in this class?" When I explained that our textbook contains some nice works of fiction but no novels, he said, "Why not?" I hardly knew what to say. "Because it doesn't," I said and moved on. That seemed good enough.

There was outrage over my cell phone policy. (Turn it off.) Outrage over my deadline policy. (No late work accepted.) Outrage that I'm required by the college to report student attendance. Outrage that students are expected to furnish their own looseleaf paper and ink pens. Outrage that the doors lock after a few minutes, something over which I have no control. Outrage that there is reading required. Outrage that there is writing required.

I'm not exaggerating. In every class, someone expressed outrage. Hands loudly meeting desks and tables. Pages of syllabi turned dramatically. Audible sighing and other sounds of disgust. Much eye rolling and deliberate eye-widening, accompanied by some noise to draw attention to the offended person. Shaking of heads, often accompanied by loud tsk-tsking. Many can-you-believe-this-shit? looks exchanged between adjacent students. Some fingers pointed at particularly egregious passages of my syllabi–syllabi that haven't changed much since last semester.

Many students complained because they have homework due Wednesday. Many were shocked that I expect them to type this homework (a 100-word paragraph). Students in each class expressed disbelief that they would be required to use their textbook so soon in the semester.

Every class was above the developmental (or remedial) level, so this was all freshman composition and above, all college-level work...allegedly.

It was the first day of class. I have more sections to meet tomorrow. I'm kind of stunned by the day I had, and nearly every one of my colleagues had similar experiences.

It was just the first day of class.