Okay, so sue me. I’m sick of looking at the same, slack-jawed faces every semester. The faces of many of the students taking my core lit courses here at Low Enrollment Standards U, who can barely discipline themselves to stare straight ahead and not play with themselves for 75 whole minutes, twice a week.
(Yes, I know you’re not interested in coming to this class. Yes, I know you’re only here because it fulfills a requirement.)
I used to think that getting them to stare straight ahead and not play with themselves was something of a victory, considering. Long ago I instituted a “no technology” policy, which at least sees to it that they aren’t checking facebook while I’m attempting to unpack the nuances of the fabliau, but this has resulted in the aforementioned slack-jawitis. Many have perfected the zombie stare, and I often fear by the end of the semester that some of them are going to rise from their desks and eat me. And not in a fun sort of way.
So, instead of relying on the same few students who are actually interested in the course to buoy class discussion (some of whom, frankly, like the sound of their voices entirely too much), I am going to start calling on them. By name. In order of who has the deadest eyes. Not something I’ve ever resorted to, as I have always set the bar fairly low for class discussion: that is, so long as a few are participating, I will not embarrass those that demur from weighing in.
No longer. It is not long ago anymore, and I no longer consider the zombie staring a victory. I don’t know why. After twenty years I’ve just decided that I don’t. And starting this semester, I am going to embarrass the holy hell out of them. Every last one, in turn.
You, Narcissistic Nadine, over there in the corner…why do you think Beowulf decided to show up at Hrothgar’s mead-hall? You, Dazed Dave, with the toothpicks propping your eyelids…what kinds of stories did the Wife of Bath’s fifth husband read in his little book, and why did she find them so upsetting?
You don’t know? Did you read? Yes, I’m asking you. Did you read the assignment? No? Two points off your final grade. You sort of skimmed it? Do you want to attempt an answer? No? Two points off your final grade. You’re going to attempt an answer, but it’s going to be total crap because you’re bullshitting me about reading? Two points off your final grade, and I’m going to point at you first the next class.
You will realize quickly that skipping class won’t help help you, because you will fail after seven absences, and after three, for each absence I start deducting (why, yes!) another two points off your final grade.
I can see the evals already. "Professor Stella called on me and made me uncomfortable!" "Professor Stella doesn’t think we have anything to do but read for her class!" "Professor Stella is mean!" "Professor Stella picks on people!" "This stuff is hard to read!" "Professor Stella tries to make her class feel stupid!" "Waaaaauuugh! This is too much pressure for a sophomore class! Wauuughh!"
Yeah, bring it on, what's left of you. There won't be all that many is my guess by the time the evaluations are handed out anyway. Because by then I will have made your lives entirely too difficult, and you will be gone. But this, my dears, is what tenure is for. To have the freedom to make you hate my guts, and flee in horror, all the while not being obliged to care what you think of me. To weild a great scythe that will separate the undead from the living students that are ready to read, and think, and rise to the challenge.
So, my sleepies, fuck you and the zombie virus you rode in on. It’s time to battle the Walking Dead.
Oh, Stella, I hear you. I too teach sophomore-level lit courses. One way around the zombie stare is to give them small group work (forcing the ones who don't talk to at least pay attention to the ones who do). I started giving online homework during the 5-day interim between class meetings (T-Th class has online work that has to be completed between Th and the following T). This work is worth serious points, so blowing it off results in a grade deduction. The online stuff is easy to grade and doesn't take much time.
ReplyDeleteGood luck. If your tactics fail, you can always make your first test H A R D to see how many of them drop.
Way to go, Stella! Strike a blow for academic integrity and rigor! I just hope your department chair and dean have backbones.
ReplyDeleteI've taught ONE sophomore-level lit class, and I thought it was me. I thought I sucked at teaching literature. You mean it's ALWAYS like this? Now I don't feel so bad. Though I still plan to take that course that's supposed to teach me how to teach literature.
ReplyDeleteIt was when I realized that my students stares were not guppy of bovine stares but were, instead, zombie stares, that I lost faith in teaching.
ReplyDeleteStella, I applaud you but do realize that you can now anticipate even more painful zombie stares. I've tried what you plan to try and the result is a staring contest between you and the student you've called by name. Said student will shrug and refuse to speak and you will have to decide how long this silent battle of wills goes on before you call on someone else.
Chrome is right that group work does tend to help. I give them study questions to go over in small groups before we go over them in the larger class. As long as I circulate from group to group to make sure they're on topic, there really is more student participation and there's usually more participation in the larger class discussion as well. It's time consuming and tedious for you but it seems to help.
I also give pop quizzes to make sure they've done the readings. They're very simple with questions like, "The Wife of Bath is a virgin. True or False?" so it's easy marking and an easy 5% for the students who actually bother to do the readings.
I have considered using the demerit system you describe. I figure, hey, they know Harry Potter and how Hogwart's works, right? But I don;t have tenure, so those evals you describe kill me professionally. (And I get them anyway as it is.)
ReplyDeleteI'd also recommend you use random selection as a means of "fairness"...make note cards with each student's name on them, then write every date with a note for + or - next to a date for record-keeping. Once a student answers a question, pull them from the pile to give those with demerits a chance to redeem themselves and also allow you to go through everyone at least once. See how fair it appears?
If one's class is too big to call on everyone at least once, won't such a "Hogwarts" system of penalties be a little unfair to the unlucky ones who do get called?
ReplyDelete@B. Chrome:
ReplyDeleteThey have online homework, every night. I do not like group work because I think it makes the slackers slackier.
@schmittyrkd:
I plan to call on them in order of who has the deadest eyes. I really think that's the fairest way.
For the record, I never give group work for grades or outside of class time and I monitor the groups carefully. Otherwise, yes, it makes the slackers worse and the good students resent the hell out of them and the work.
ReplyDeleteschmittyrkd, that's why you pull the people who have spoken out of the pile. You can paperclip them and hold them aside for the next class. When everyone has had a chance to speak (and those with a minus had a 2nd chance) then you shuffle the pile and start anew.
ReplyDeleteKeep in mind a + means a positive contribution and a = means none. At the end of the term, a student may work out to be balanced, in the red, or perhaps eligible for a grade bump. (Hell, convert this into a full-fledged participation grade!)
The dead-eye/demerit/shame approach will most certainly result in accusations of unfairness, but Stella doesn't care since she has tenure. For the rest of us, the cards might be a wiser approach.
I use a semi-randomly* sorted list containing everyone's name written multiple times. The number of times is equal to the number of acceptable absences plus the number of times I think they should be assessed for participation. I use the number of positions on the list and number of non-exam meeting dates to figure out how many times per class I need to call on someone. Then I grade them on a small point scale where most of the points are just for being there, with a few gravy points on top for giving a particularly good answer. I run through the list in order. If someone is absent, they get a 0. If they are absent again when they get called on, another 0. This winds up having no negative impact on their grade if they aren't absent more then the allowable number of times.
ReplyDelete*It is only "semi" random because after the randomly sorted list is generated, I run through and make sure nobody's name is next to itself closer than how many names I'm going to call in a single period. This way they can't get a double absence for the same period.
I only do this with my nonmajors class. It might be too babyish to do with a sophomore class. And it takes the "I'm calling on you BECAUSE you are unprepared. So get the fuck prepared." element away, which is the most appealing aspect of your plan. I like your way better. But I'm too chicken to do it your way, so I thought I'd toss this out there for the other non-tenured to use and adapt.