Thursday, July 7, 2011
Yeah, Hi, I see you there.
Even without the body language, I know you have to be uncomfortable because I haven't seen you since the middle of last week and Summer Session weeks = School Year months. This final is so easy I should be fired. But I know you can't answer any of the questions because last I saw you, you were flunking a quiz from 3 chapters back. You not only missed a gratuitous FIVE HOURS of review, but you missed the last 2 chapters. You missed the announcement that everyone could have a cheat sheet, so you don't have one. You wouldn't even sit in the hall for 5 minutes to try to throw one together in the last minute. You don't even know what you don't know. I'm fully aware of your precise emotional state at this moment. But what I don't know is: What did you think today would be like?
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OOooohhhh, I love me some schadenfreude first thing in the morning.
ReplyDeleteGood smack, Wombat!
But. . .But. . .But. . .It's a summer class. . .And I paid for it. . .And I attended almost 2/3 of the class sessions. Isn't that worth at least a B?
ReplyDeleteThat was delicious. A soothing draught for my black and bitter soul.
ReplyDelete"You don't even know what you don't know."
ReplyDeleteI would like to put this at the top of every one of my syllabi.
"You don't even know what you don't know."
ReplyDeleteI like that line too. And this one: "This final is so easy I should be fired."
I had a student once who attended the final (worth 30% of the grade) without having attended a single class, or submitted any of the other work (worth 70% of the grade). She knew it was an open-book final, but brought the WRONG TEXTBOOK.
ReplyDeleteI actually asked her afterwards whether she had realised it was not possible for her to pass the course at that point. She said she knew, but she thought there was a chance the final didn't change from year to year, and since she would have to repeat the class the following year, she thought she might as well get a sneak peak.
Just finished the first week of the summer "B" session and already I'm getting the usual suspects:
ReplyDelete-the student that needs just this class to graduate and, from first impression, has no chance
-the student that needs to pass this class or else they'll be thrown out of their program
-the students who are woefully unprepared (calculus I and they can't do seventh grade algebra)
35% of the grade is online homework and only 4 out of 20 have set up their accounts. The first exam is next Tuesday and
I teach every summer and this is par for the course.
This post makes me glad I'm not teaching summer school. This shite is bad enough during the year.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, and then there are the losers who are failing and fret about losing their Pell grants due to poor grades. Did I say "Pell grants"? Oh, I meant MY TAX MONEY.
ReplyDeleteI think if you fail more than a two classes in any academic year that you should permanently lose all grants. If students want my tax money so they can be slack pieces of shit, they can go fuck themselves. The permissiveness of college is becoming truly barftastic.
The other day, I had one student actually on heroin DURING my class, and a score of others who bailed as soon as they realized they had to do actual work. It's the dregs of humanity, and they are the future. Wheee.