Nerdy grad student
tells desperate, broke colleague:
"Be glad you aren't teaching
this semester
The meetings they made us sit through
so boring
so useless
FERPA?
Who needs it?"
We hear this.
We know the Misery
the parents in their Blackhawks
the shock of Sam and Suzy Snowflake
finding out that form they signed during
orientationmeant something
FERPA is your friend, young one
your issues with "bureaucracy"
and "federal encroachment"
keep you from seeing a tool
to save your ass
Enjoy learning your lesson
the very hard way
When the Hellfire missiles
come down from above
We'll be laughing at you
while your ass is on fire
Such a sad example of the crushing spirit of grad school. The unfunded sit jealous of those who earn $900/month and have to sit through lectures on administrative duties.
ReplyDeleteSuck.
Between free verse and haiku falls the ideogrammic method:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.grammarist.com/literature/ideogram/
This does have a bit of the Ezra Pound foaming-at-the-mouth quality. I dig it.
"This does have a bit of the Ezra Pound foaming-at-the-mouth quality."
ReplyDeleteYou want old Ezra "foamin' at the muth" Google his name and "power"....the link to earthstation1.com will serve you well if it still working; an actual digitalization of a wire recording of Pound "speakin'" over Italian Fascist shortwave radio, giving both barrels to Roosevelt over "foreign condominiums" (i.e, backing the British.)
Fun stuff.
I like the image of hellfire missiles descending from the parental Blackhawks. The narcissism that underlies helicopter parenting can eventually turn ugly if the kid fails to perform up to expectations, and/or finally declares independence. Of course, the kids who are ready to declare independence know exactly what a FERPA form is, and, if they don't have the strength to resist mommy and daddy's demands during orientation, are at the student affairs office filing an amended form (and inquiring about financial aid) the next day. Some others may take a semester or a year, but eventually cut the financial and electronic umbilical cords.
ReplyDeleteSnowflakes, on the other hand, haven't yet figured out that they and the helicopter are separate entities (and, since they've never done their own taxes, filled out their own applications, registered themselves for classes, etc., have no idea how to fill out a form without mommy's or daddy's help anyway). Their grades may actually be okay, at least on take-home work, as long as mommy or daddy is pretty good at their chosen subject. And if (s)he isn't, well, that explains some of the rage at the C that results. In that case, of course, the missiles are turned on the hapless proffie who gave the grade, not the offspring, who is being winched up in a basket for TLC.