Monday Misery (posted Tuesday)

5:30am - My cat is trying to dig me out of my sleeping bag.

6:00am - Okay kitty, I'll feed you.  Coffee and muffin for myself.  Morning exercise.

7:00am - Email checking.  Letter from Dean. Ugg.
               EMH, one of your students is struggling with the web-based thingy.  She had already purchased an access code and she is unable to log-in.  Please address this matter, as it can create a refund issue with A&W.
(The email was also CC'd to our dept chair and some IT person who no longer works at our campus.)

7:05am - The reply I would have liked to have sent:
               Dear Dean,
               You have no fucking clue what's going on, do you!  I spoke to this lady on Thursday and referred her to the thingy's troubleshooting contact on campus.  Personally, I would have called the sales rep, but you and the dept chair won't let me have their number.  She's having problems because she took the previous course from the instructor who can't understand questions.  That instructor failed to extend the expiration date like he was supposed to, because he never cared to learn english.  I would speak to him myself but I never get anywhere, as he does not understand me.  Sorry that we might have to hurt A&W's feelings with a refund, but that's life.
                P.S.  A&W is holding a training session next week.  Perhaps you should attend as well.

9:00am - Good morning class!
               Student:  EMH, I can't log on to ANGEL.
               Me:  I wanted to say the following:  You couldn't follow the directions I gave you last time?  Okay, after class we'll go to the computer lab and I will hold your hand.
               Another student:  I logged on to ANGEL and could not find the homework assignments.  I know you said they were on the other web-based-thing...
               Another student:  I can't even log on to the other web-based thingy.  I'm entering my user-name and password and it doesn't work for some reason.
               EMH:  Did you register and pick a user-name and password?
               Student:  No.  (still puzzled)
               Another student:  EMH, can you please take roll already!
               Me:  I do roll during the last 5 minutes of class.
               Student:  Yeah but I have to leave early.  I have a super important appointment over at financial aid.
               Me:  Students who leave early are marked absent.  Appointments need to be scheduled around  class time.
               (Room gets cold for some reason)

11:30am - Gas station for lunch.  Sorry, we don't accept EBT here.

11:45am - Target for lunch.  We accept EBT here.  You just can't buy anything with it.

12:30pm - Rode bike to grocery store 5 miles away.  They take EBT.

1:30pm - Doctor's appointment at SFNH(State-Funded Nut-House)
               Doctor Gene Therapy:  How did your lab work come out?
               Me:  Umm, they were supposed to send it to you, not me.
               Doctor:  Yeah, but I don't have it in my possession.  But, based on the results of your psych-eval, I'll go ahead and authorize more refills.
               Me:  I would like a copy of my psych-eval.
               Doc:  Tell my nurse Amalia.  She'll print you a copy.
               Me:  She likes to give me the run-around.  What if she refuses to give it to me?
               Doc:  We'll just have to wait and see.


EMH goes back to waiting room.  Enter Amalia.  Ugg.

Amalia:  EMH, let's get your appointments.  (Walking to cubicle.)

(Amalia and I sit down in the cubicle.)

Me:  I'm going to lose my health-insurance at the end of September.  Any appointments need to be made before then.

Amalia:  Okay!  How about the middle of October?

Me:  That won't work.

Amalia:  Oh, why not?

Me:  I'm not going to have insurance at that time.

Amalia:  Yes, but Gene wants to see you in two months.

Me:  Yes, but how will that be possible if I don't have insurance?  Are you offering me a free session?

Amalia:  Oh, okay.  How about September 28th then?

Me:  That's fine.

Me:  I also need a copy of my psych eval.

Amalia:  Okay!

(Amalia typing on computer, filling out paperwork.  Gets up to grab paperwork that has been printed out. Returns.)

Amalia:  I need you to sign these.  And here's your prescription.

Amalia:  Okay, and you should be good to go!

Me:  What about my psych eval?

Amalia:  I can't give it to you.  You need to meet with Madame O to fill out paperwork.  It's a process, but that's what you need to do.

Me:  Then why did you say you were going to get it for me?

Amalia:  I didn't say that.  I said "okay".

Me:  thinking:  (Amalia, you are the queen of all snowflakes and a dipshit.)

(Amalia turns to face telephone.  Grabs receiver.)

Me:  So, do I just go back to the waiting room now?  What do I do?

Amalia:  Oh, um, I'm calling Madame O for you right now.  You'll be able to take care of this today.

(Madame O arrives with clipboard and authorization paperwork.  She insists on being to the one who fills out the paperwork while I say answers.  Excellent recipe for a disunderstanding.)

Madame O:  Okay EMH, we will get your psych eval mailed out to you!

2:30pm - arrive at friends house.  They make me a Jack and Coke.  I get to relax in their pool.  Perfect ending to a shitty day.

9:00pm - friends and I arrive at the Karaoke bar.  I got so drunk.  The drunker I got, the better I sang.

I sung Without You, Jeremy Spoke in Class Today, and a third song that I can't remember for some reason.




Peace, and be excellent to each other!