I can’t claim that my students are as smackdown-worthy as May’s. But they’ve still managed to exhibit an interesting array of clueless and/or self-centered behaviors during the first week of classes. Here are some of the most notable characters so far:
Pencilless Pete: if you forget to bring a writing implement with you to the second day of class, and are sitting in front of an individual computer, provided just for you, is the best way to impress your instructor to (a) ask her if she has an extra pencil, or (b) just take notes in a document and send it to yourself at the end of class? Needless to say, you failed this particular pop quiz.
Indecisive Irene: I’m not sure why you can’t decide between my section and my colleague’s very similar one (if I terrify you, you haven’t said so), but the bottom line is that the LMS software will only allow you to be enrolled in one of the sections at a time, and I’m not going to try to override that. I sent you several key documents as attachments, but if you want to complete the Discussion Board posts, you’re going to have to enroll in my class (among other things, my chair will not be happy if you aren’t officially enrolled in either of the sections as of the upcoming “census” deadline, and then beg to be let in, so no, I’m not going to treat you as a full-fledged student until you are one). That’s just the way it works, and I’m getting a bit tired of explaining it every time we communicate.
Extra-credit Eric: When the teacher finishes going over the syllabus and says “any questions?”, I wouldn't suggest leading with “is there extra credit?” It gives me the impression that, well, you’re not expecting to do that well on the fairly challenging -- but entirely appropriate -- assignments I’ve just described, and are hoping that there’s a hidden, easier, way to pick up a point or ten. Sorry, but there isn’t (just plenty of guidance on successfully completing the carefully-broken-down stages of those substantive assignments, and frequent, but not infinite, chances to revise).
Milan-bound Maria: How lovely that you have a week-long European trip planned during one of the busiest weeks of the semester! You didn’t give me any further details, so I’m not sure why you thought that was a good idea. But, as I mentioned when we spoke after class, it would be wise for you to verify that you will have reliable internet access during that week, since that will allow you to keep up with the online component of the class (I've heard rumors that the intertoobz stretch as far as Italy, but you should of course verify that for yourself). And I’m delighted to report that that’s the week your group project is due, and that there’s a student-determined component of the grade evaluating the quality of your contribution. Since it’s not an online-only class, I suspect your group members may not be inclined to give you high marks. But it’s out of my hands. Enjoy your trip!
I have hopes that Pete, Irene, and Eric, all of whom are community-college transfers adjusting to our big state u, will settle in in a week or three. Maria I’m not so sure about, but I’m willing to be pleasantly surprised.
I think we should (or someone) print out rules of behavior based on the flakes we encounter:
ReplyDelete1. Don't ask for extra credit on Day 1.
2. Don't schedule vacations during the semester.
3. Don't forget to bring a writing utensil to class (really?)
Etc.
But then again, even compiling such a list would probably simply result in students giving me that "you don't know the kind of shit I'm going to pull this year" look that they all seem to wear during the first week anyway, so why would I bother, right?
And THIS is precisely why my BP has gone up before school has even begun for us.
4. Don't ask for favors before adding the class.
ReplyDelete5. Don't ask the teacher on Day 2 for information that's in the syllabus.