Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Real Goddamned Mail - Homer Simpson Edition.

Got these emails today from one guy:

  • Hey, is your new moderator a prof at Xxxxxxx College in Xxxxxxx?
  • I just met a guy at my college who says he's one of the moderators at CM. His name is Xxxxxx Xxx. Is that right? I think he's pulling my leg.
  • Xxxxxx, are you reading my emails? If this is really you, put up a Homer Simpson cartoon on the blog so I know. I believe you man, but I gots to have my Homer!
  • Hi, I've written a number of emails this morning and haven't gotten a reply. Could you get back to me?
  • Xxxxx, I call bullshit on you, man. If you're the majordomo of the majordojo, then prove it to me. I'm going to be in my office until 2.
  • Hi, I think some guy is pulling my leg. What's the name of the current moderator? I want to confirm that he's not this guy I work with. Or you can just put up a picture of Homer Simpson. 
  • Dear College Misery, My name is Xxxxxx Xxxxxx. Can you tell me if Xxxxxxx Xxx is affiliated with your blog? I'm trying to confirm something.
  • FUCKER! I bet it's not even you. 
  • Hello, I've sent a number of emails since 9 am and I still haven't heard back. Could someone contact me right away?
  • Xxxxx, I just saw you leave the building, you little shit.

23 comments:

  1. Today I did a phone interview, and I'd had so much coffee my hands were shaking the phone whole time. That reminds me of this guy. Also, I'm never going to get a job anywhere, ever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unless you've emailed the committee every 15 minutes since the call ended to ask if they've made a decision yet, I don't think you're in this guy's league.

      Good luck with the job search. With any luck the shaking didn't translate across the wires (or came across as static -- phone connections are getting worse and worse these days).

      Delete
  2. Someone needs to go back on their meds...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Minus the swearing, I have an international student who mails me like this.
    What did these people do before email?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Left serial answering-machine messages, I think. Or showed up at office hours (and non-office hours) every day. Actually, a few of them still do that.

      Delete
    2. Cussed at truckers on citzens' band radio.

      Dialed random numbers and swore at whomever picked up, even the cops.

      Delete
    3. I can say with certainty that some of us grew out of that behavior.

      Delete
    4. Some are born motherfuckers, some are made motherfuckers, and some have their motherfuckerism beaten out of them over time.

      Single Author sounds like a born motherfucker.

      Delete
  4. This one needs a "profflake" label, I think.

    Also, kudos to Xxxxxx Xxx for successfully pulling his colleague's leg (and/or thanks to him for moderating).

    And finally, posting Marge is an inspired touch. That ought to keep his head spinning for another hour or two.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Um, am I the only one to notice that's Marge, not Homer?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I figured that posting Marge rather than Homer was a deliberate attempt to f*ck with the emailer's head. Not that it appears to need any more scrambling. . .

      Delete
    2. Yes to Fab!!! Fab. For. The. Win.

      Anyone who says "I gots to have my Homer" deserves a Marge kick in the ass.

      Delete
  6. Somebody just raised the bar. Honest_Prof has his work cut out for him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I dunno, is it fair to make douchey compete with crazy? Crazy has its own league for a reason.

      Delete
  7. Also? LOVE LOVE LOVE the tag on the banner.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I think the "Fucker" in his building is probably going to take out a restraining order pretty soon. That is INSANELY funny.

    ReplyDelete
  9. June 24: the CM "persuade your craziest colleague to mail the mod" day?

    ReplyDelete
  10. I might be wrong, but this kind of shit is *probably* the reason that our moderators have a short shelf life...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What moderators? It's all been automated since 2008. Automated. Automated. Automated. Automate. Auto. Auto. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

      Delete
  11. Must be why there was no immediate response.

    ReplyDelete

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