- Fuck it.
- Shoot and eat it.
- Celebrate it.
- Pour water off its back.
- Marginalize its experience.
- Lift it up.
- Teach it the joy of college hoops.
- Let it be ducky. (Why are you getting involved in the first place.)
- Set it up with that pretty rabbit you saw in the back yard. (Love knows no species)
- Get it drunk.
Aw duck it. I'll have another pint.
ReplyDeleteI believe you can do an infinite number of things with a duck. Was it The Arabian Nights where some lady ran out of stories to tell and started telling stories about her telling the stories? So if you take a duck with you everywhere you go then it'll experience everything you experience which is like Neo's infinite TV screens in The Matrix.
ReplyDeleteI want to mate the duck with a hummingbird.
ReplyDeleteI like duck with a nice blackberry chutney and a good microbrew.
ReplyDeleteDo you think snowflake ducks sink?
ReplyDeleteYou forgot love it.
ReplyDeleteMake it read a textbook.
ReplyDeleteSomehow convert it to Orthodox Judaism....make it wear a tiny streiml.
ReplyDeleteshtreimel
DeleteI thought there were alternate spellings.....get it to wear fringed garments, and we may have something.
DeleteIt all comes back to the duck,
ReplyDeleteand I love how it is used
as a cleanser.
Rough day yesterday,
or at least that's what I've heard.
I tried to get through the comments,
but tend to avoid any scene
where chest-puffing
stands up for logic.
Play nice.
Did someone write that here once.
I would vote it as a rule,
but I probably wouldn't
get into a fight over it.
You could write your top ten list in the proper order, 10 to 1.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't say 'TOP ten', just 'ten'.
ReplyDeleteYou can curse at it and its friends for not making the NCAAB tourney.
You can take a Pecocet and giggle as you watch it bob for things in the water with its tail in the air and cute little webbed feet flipping about and go squeeeee duckings! and be thankful that you're not grading momentarily.
And it doesn't even say TEN in the title. It's just things, and there happen to be ten.
DeleteFucking Ben and his lists. I'm with the non-listers, whoever they are.
:)
PS: We've lost another longtime community member from the page because of the shit yesterday.
Oh, phooey! You kids had an orgy when I was away, and I missed the whole thing!
ReplyDeleteYou can put it on one side of scale and a woman on the other--if she weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood, and therefore...
ReplyDeleteA farmer gave his son a duck for his birthday. He also gave him a dollar and sent him to town. The boy brought the duck with him.
ReplyDeleteThe young man wandered the streets, his duck in tow. A woman in tight clothes and makeup approached him. "Wanna have a good time, young boy?"
"OK."
"It's twenty bucks."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I only have one dollar."
She looked at his duck. "My father gave it to me for my birthday," he explained.
She thought for a moment. "I'll tell you what. Your duck is cute, and I'm sentimental about birthdays. So give me your duck and I'll show you a good time."
He did, and she did. "Wow! That was amazing, young man. That was so good, I'll do it again." After another round, she exclaimed, "That was amazing. I should pay you!" She gave back his duck.
After spending the day in the city, he started home. A noise startled the duck, who fluttered into the road and was run over by a passing beer truck. The driver jumped out of the cab. "I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you." He gave the young man a dollar.
When he got home, his father asked how he spent his birthday. He said, "I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck and a buck for a fucked-up duck."
Fuck a duck. I just got it.
ReplyDeleteI'm really brain dead right now. Good one, Cal.
Kill it, then staple it to your essay
ReplyDeleteHey! I recognize that.
DeleteAs well you should :D
DeleteI tried to explain the idea of dead duck rules to a student once... no comprehension at all.
"A DUCK A DAY!"
ReplyDelete(from our vocational bible)
Did anyone else notice we're an academic water COOKER instead of a cooler now. Sheesh, how many jokes am I missing?
ReplyDeleteGood one...
xoxo
Darla
I did notice when I first checked in, and chuckled (at least until I realized just *how* heated things had gotten). Still, yes, a good one.
DeleteEmbed a countable set on the duck's back.
ReplyDelete