Essentialness. Job Misery Edition. "Heh, heh, 'fingering.'"

From a faculty job in the humanities I applied to this morning:

Essential Job Functions NOTE: Consistent and reliable attendance is an essential function of all positions.

Comparing - judging the readily observable functional, structural, or compositional characteristics (whether similar to or divergent from obvious standards) of data, people, or things. Frequent   Copying - transcribing, entering, or posting data. Frequent   Computing - performing arithmetic operations and reporting on and/or carrying out a prescribed action in relation to them. Frequent   Compiling - gathering collating, or classifying information about data, people or things. Reporting and/or carrying out a prescribed action in relation to the evaluation is frequently involved. Frequent   Analyzing - examining and evaluating data. Presenting alternative actions in relation to the evaluation is frequently involved. Frequent   Coordinating - determining time, place and sequence of operations or action to be taken on the basis or analysis of data. May include prioritizing multiple responsibilities and/or accomplishing them simultaneously. Frequent   Synthesizing - to combine or integrate data to discover facts and/or develop knowledge or creative concepts and/or interpretations. Frequent   Negotiating - exchanging ideas, information, and opinions with others to formulate policies and programs and/or jointly arrive at decided, conclusions, solutions or solve disputes. Frequent   Communicating - talking with and/or listening and/or signaling people to convey or exchange information; includes giving/receiving assignments and/or directions. Frequent   Instructing - teaching subject matter to others or training others through explanation, demonstration and supervised practice; or making recommendations on the basis of technical disciplines. Frequent   Interpersonal - skills/behaviors-dealing with individuals with a range of moods and behaviors in a tactful, congenial, personal manner so as not to alienate or antagonize them. Frequent   Standing not-required   Walking not-required   Sitting more than .50 of a typical day   Climbing - Ascending or descending using feet and legs and/or hands and arms. Body agility is emphasized. not-required   Balancing - Maintaining body equilibrium to prevent falling on narrow, slippery or erratically moving surfaces, or maintaining body equilibrium when performing feats of agility. not-required   Stooping - Bending body downward and forward. This factor is important if it occurs to a considerable degree and requires full use of the lower extremities and back muscles. not-required   Kneeling, Crouching and Crawling - (Kneeling: Bending legs at knees a/to come to rest on knee or knees. Crouching: Bending downward and forward by bending legs and spine. Crawling: Moving about on hands and knees or hands and feet.) not-required   Reaching - Extending hand(s) and arm(s) in any direction. not-required   Handling, Fingering and Feeling - (Handling: Seizing, holding, grasping, turning or otherwise working with hand or hands. Fingering: Picking, pinching or otherwise working primarily with fingers rather than with the whole hand or arm as in handling. Feeling: Perceiving attributes of objects, such as size, shape, temperature or texture, by touching with skin, particularly that of fingertips). from .25 to .50 of a typical day   Talking - Expressing or exchanging ideas by means of the spoken word. Talking is important for those activities in which workers must impact oral information to clients or to the public, and in those activities in which they convey detailed or important spoken instructions to other workers, accurately, loudly, or quickly. more than .50 of a typical day   Hearing - Perceiving the nature of sounds. Used for those activities which require ability to receive detailed information through oral communications, and to make fine discriminations in sounds, such as when making fine adjustments on running engines. more than .50 of a typical day   Control of Others - Seizing, holding, controlling, and/or otherwise subduing violent, assaultive, or physically threatening persons to defend oneself or prevent injury. Body strength and agility of all four limbs is necessary. not-required   Near Acuity - Clarity of vision at 20 inches or less. required   Far Acuity - Clarity of vision at 20 feet or more. not required   Depth Perception -Three dimensional vision. not required   Color Vision - Ability to identify and distinguish colors. not required   Field of Vision - Area that can be seen from right to left or up and down while fixed on one point. not required   Ability to lift up to 10 pounds sometimes   Ability to lift up to 25 pounds sometimes   Ability to lift up to 50 pounds never   Ability to lift up to 100 pounds never   Ability to lift more than 100 pounds never   Exposure to Extreme Weather - Exposure to hot, cold, wet, humid, or windy conditions caused by the weather. never   Extreme Cold Non-Weather related - Exposure to non-weather related cold temperatures. never   Extreme Heat Non-Weather related - Exposure to non-weather related hot temperatures. never   Wet and/or Humid - Contact with water or other liquids; or exposure to non-weather related humid conditions. never   Atmospheric Conditions - Exposure to conditions such as fumes, noxious odors, dusts, mists, gases, and poor ventilation, that affect the respiratory system. never   Hazards - Exposure to situations with a definite risk of bodily injury, such as: proximity to moving mechanical parts, electrical current, working on scaffolding and high places, explosives, radiations, chemicals. never   Vibration - Exposure to a shaking object or surface. This factor rated important when vibration causes a strain on the body or extremities. never   Confined/Restricted Working Environment - Work is performed in a closed or locked facility providing safety and security for clients or fellow workers. never   Noise Moderate Noise (business office with normal traffic)

- Whiskers McWhillicutter