The cruelty of end-of-semester stress: I woke up at 3:00 am and my brain immediately began working on my to-do list. Grading. Grading. Grading. Lit papers (came in last Wednesday). Research papers (coming in on Thursday). I didn't get to the lit papers over the previous weekend because I was finishing up the last of the god-awful critical analysis papers. And like Greta, I can't get work done in my office because I'm constantly being interrupted by panicked students.
So yes. In spite of my best efforts to ignore all of this, it's now 4:00 am, and I am on my couch, screwing with my pineal gland even further because I turned on my netbook.
Lightning, thunder, and the tick of rain on the windows. Underneath it all, the call of spring peepers in the pond across the road.
Maybe I will get back to sleep before the alarm goes off at 6:00 am.
If I can just shut my goddamned brain up.
May 9th (last day of classes) cannot come soon enough. At least after that, I can hang a sign on my door that says "OFFICE HOURS BY APPOINTMENT ONLY" and go to Starbucks to grade in peace, because God knows that despite that sign, they'll knock until I answer the door.
You did the right thing. I've been up since 4 am anyway, for the same reason, but I tried to stay in bed. So 4 hours of staring at the ceiling later... Now I have to write a "review sheet" to distract them from not getting their quiz back.
ReplyDelete..."it's now 4:00 am, and I am on my couch, screwing with my pineal gland even further because I turned on my netbook."
ReplyDeleteEither you are jerking off while watching internet porn on the couch or I didn't understand anything you said.
Allow a fellow science nerd to explain. The pineal gland is the gland in the brain that produces melatonin - the hormone commonly believed to play a role in your 24-hour circadian rhythm. Basically, the pineal gland turns on at night and shuts off during the day. So when you can't sleep, many believe that turning on the lights is one of the worst things you can do since it effectively turns off melatonin and messes up your 24-hour cycle.
DeleteI have a little program called f.lux (http://stereopsis.com/flux/ ) on my computer, which changes the color balance on the screen to less-blue (and hence less like sunlight)when the sun sets, then back again in the morning. I don't know whether it makes any real difference in sleep cycles, but it's sort of cool to watch, and makes me feel in touch with the seasons. At the very least, it's free, and doesn't seem to have done anything bad to my computer.
DeleteI graded until 1:30 AM last night (this morning). It is the only way I can manage uninterrupted time to grade. Except that a colleague was complaining about a lab-related issue (I run the lab) - a deadline. For which I provided 6 months notice. It is a silly requirement, after all, that I should have to have the lab ready for the start of summer classes.
ReplyDeleteOne student showed up to our final discussion (in lieu of a final exam), but did not turn in a final project and did not think to mention it to me. I searched everywhere for it, in the event it was submitted to the wrong folder on the server. As she routinely does not put her name on things, computer searches accomplish nothing. I emailed her asking and she blamed the software program, claiming we had only been working with the program a short time (4 weeks, or slightly more than 25% of the semester). I also mentioned her standing was somewhat precarious due to the fact she never turned in the first assignment (due in January). She asked if she could turn the assignment in now, and also whined about it not being fair that she should receive a low or failing grade.
After all, she worked so hard.
We have these fancy new phones which display who is calling. I sometimes have the need to talk to my colleague in the next office as we are working on a couple of major projects together. We both have our offices situated so that it's impossible to see if anyone is inside by looking through the tiny window on the door. Sometimes we even turn out the lights. We thus are often forced into the ridiculous situation where, if we need to talk to each other and are both in our offices, we call rather than knocking on the door right next to us because we are trying to avoid students outside office hours.
ReplyDeleteWe are now not expected just to advise our own students. We must help anyone who comes into the building. We are allegedly the masters of direction. We are supposed to know where all our colleagues are at all times. We have endless amounts of office supplies that any student can ask for at any time.
Work is the last place anyone can get any work done!
I completely empathize. I woke up at 3:30 this morning in a complete state of panic over everything that needed graded (for current classes), edited (for my own work), and prepped (for summer classes starting in...5 days). Hubby says inability to shut my brain off is my number one personal flaw. When you figure out how to do it, let me know. In the meantime, I am left to ponder...How often do students wake up and worry about this stuff? Or better, how often do they realize WE worry about this stuff?
ReplyDeleteI just finished a semester with many nights like this. Yet when I look at those tea partying evals, I see that apparently I did not spend enough time or effort in their eyes. They have no clue.
ReplyDeleteGreetings. I am so happy I found this blog. I'm a three-year veteran in Adjunct CC hell. This blog may save me from chugging Drano. Please tell me I didn't waste 7 years earning a BA and Master's for this shit. It does get better...right? Oh, and I just found posts about me on RMP...sweet. Dear Baby Jeebus, thicker skin would be fantastic right now.
ReplyDeleteI think you'll find this blog to be worth at least a glass of merlot. It helps you grow thicker skin while easing all that negativity on to the snowflakes who inflict so much misery on us.
DeleteIn light of that: welcome!! Please share your misery with us so we can feel better about our own misery.
Welcome, indeed!
DeleteDon't chug Drano--it's hard on your colon.
I find vodka does the trick just fine most evenings.
The other night I could not fall asleep and then woke up again at 4 stewing about an obnoxious student e-mail. Oh, to not give a shit.
ReplyDeleteNe cures nisi curent. That's our mantra.
DeleteOr perhaps it should be in the past tense: "Don't care if they didn't."