It turns out that a fourth individual named "Gwendolyn" took a petition over to the Dean requesting that they dispose with the Dirty Pair. She was supportive for the most part, yet she gave the Dean an ear-full on how I am "not" managing my classroom.
Wednesday: This is the day that the Dean of Students laid the smack-down. We were also engaged in a review for the final. After hearing about Gwendolyn's little trip to the Dean, I decided to set some boundaries. You see, I really hate doing exam reviews simply because the little flakes like to leave, and before it's over with one has an empty room. Nothing says poor classroom management like that happening. So, I wrote the following on the board:
Exam Review Ground-Rules:
1) YOU ask, I answer. Questions must be relevant to the course.
2) If people run out of questions, I cover new material and put it on the exam.
3) If people leave, I cover new material and put it on the exam.
4) If people engage in frequent "in-and-out" priveledges, I cover new material and put it on the exam.
Lo and behold, the first person to raise a hand was Gwendolyn. "Uh, professa. Dat's not fair! You goin' punish us 'cause 'day leave? 'Dat ain't right!"
Well gee, Gwenny, you want 'da classroom managed don't 'ya? And her main complaint was with regards to people making excessive use of in-and-out priveledges. (How do you guys handle this? One lady at my college just straight up 86's people if the first warning doesn't sink in. I, on the other hand, just shudder to think of what would happen if a student wet their desk just to make a statement. Not to mention other repercussions.)
And then at some point during the review, I needed to erase the ground rules. Cue Mr. Mathis.
"Uh, so like does that mean that they don't apply to us, since you are erasing them."
Me: No.
Mathis: Ukay. Ukay. So like do they not apply...
Me: Mr. Mathis, I heard your question the first time you asked it and my answer has not changed.
Mathis has been pushing my buttons all semester long. My fault for allowing it to happen. Our admin currently doesn't take crap off of students, and that is deliciously taking time to get used to.
Mathis likes to interrupt class with useless questions like, "Um, if I brought beer, can we cancel class?"
I should have written him up the first time. Oh well.
So, relating this to hamster fur (or hamster fur for people with gerbil anxiety), one of the questions on the review sheet was the following:
Which of the following is a hamster?
Over half the class kept insisting that the answer was "C" which was a picture of an asshole. They wanted a full explanation and could not understand the difference between a hamster and an asshole. Mr. Mathis especially refused to understand anything I tried to convey and kept grubbing and asking questions. 10 minutes later, they still didn't get it.
Finally I snapped. I know I'm not supposed to, having a perceived halo and all. I'm supposed to be a role-model to them and the last hope of society... But even Job, I'm sure, had his limits.
Me: How do you guys make it to school without getting killed?
Cue laughter from the class.
Mathis: I personally think that's pretty fuckin' offensive, actually!
That evening, I got an email from the Campus Dean requesting a brief meeting. The gist was that Mr. Mathis was upset about the comment I made. The next day, I arrived on campus and the Dean of Students was in the back of the Hamster Building
DS: You got an email from the Campus Dean (CD). Do you know what it's about?
Me: I think I have an idea. I made a poor choice of words.
DS: Uh-huh... What did you say?
And so I spilled my guts.
DS: That was a fuck-up EMH. That was a fuck-up. And after backing you too! What do you think you should do?
Me: I will apologize to them.
DS: And...
Me: I was getting ready to meet with CD and apologize to him as well and reassure him that it won't happen again.
DS: Well, let's go offer that to CD. And I'm not mad at you. CD is not mad at you. We understand that they can be little shits and it's incredibly easy to lash out in anger. I've done it before. We've all done it before.
DS: Listen, as I've told you before, you are an excellent hamster-fur teacher. You aren't in any danger of getting fired. If they screw with you, we will back you! Stop being so goddamned nice and write them up for crying out loud! But don't say things like that to the students. You know, as a teacher, you have ALOT of power. You have the power to send someone home and they kill themselves. That's a pretty heavy burden!
So, we met with CD. It was a very friendly non-threatening meeting, the gist being that they like me, I'm not in danger of getting fired, but please don't say that stuff to the students.
So, as soon as I apologize to my students, I'm going to consider this smoothed over and enjoy the rest of my summer (as enjoyable as being broke will be).
Jack Daniels, here I come!
Do you mind not referring to your students as "bitches"? There are plenty of non-gendered slurs out there available for your use.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
Deleteyes, like "silverbacks"
DeleteHmmm. That word does not appear above. Were you mistaken, or was the article edited?
DeleteHmmm. That word does not appear above. Were you mistaken, or was the article edited?
DeleteYes, EMH edited the word to "Dirty Pair".
DeleteWait, I missed something: so we're not not using "bitch" and "silverback" anymore?
ReplyDeleteThe first commenter took offense at EMH's use of the word "bitches" to describe the students who accused him of being drunk in class.
DeleteAnd I have gotten my ass bit re: "silverbacks" on this board more than once, so I'm going to go with yes. Or no.
Thanks, I wondered if I'd missed a "rule" or something... or not...
DeleteI have no problem with "silverback" because it connotes age and cluelessness, true, but also power. A 62 year old adjunct is not a "silverback".
DeleteI'll step away from "bitches" though.
The questions on the board are basically a red flag to a bull. Did you intend that? Because the first rule of teaching is never let them see you sweat. Those questions betrayed weakness, and told them that they had "gotten" to you.
ReplyDeleteAlso: Spell "privileges" right. I am a terrible speller, but when it goes on the board, it needs to be spelled correctly, or the students that know you're wrong will think you're an idiot.
And the answer to "Um, if I brought beer, can we cancel class?" is not writing the student up, for Chrissakes. It's a big smile, and "We can cancel any class you like, if students vote on it unanimously. However the material we would have covered during this class is still going to be on the next test. Of course you can always leave and take an absence..."
Yeah, and while were at it, we should just forgo writing syllabi as well. Screw boundaries! They just show our weakness.
DeleteAnd hell to the fucking no, I'm not going to say that to them.
DeleteThat's a ridiculous response to what Stella was trying to HELP YOU with. Talk about apples and oranges. The syllabus comes out at the start of class and defines expectations while you still have control and when there is no "baggage". The things you wrote on the board were after the horse was not only out of the barn, but had already shat all over your carriage house and left a note to the dean, written in manure, reading "EMH sucks." If you're honest with yourself, you'll realize your review session ground rules were not motivated by a desire to establish some rules, but by spite. You were just lashing back with a form of sarcasm. It was insincere and transparent and it just let them know they got to you.
DeleteYou have more issues that warrant dean intervention that anyone else here. You have more in one week than I did in seven years, and I am horrible at classroom management. I know we all post here to vent more than grow, but instead of taking everything as a personal insult, maybe you could look for the constructive criticism as a way to get yourself out of always being in these situations.
Would you rather be patronized and left to wallow in these recurring dramas, or would you rather take a little constructive criticism and discover a way out of this horror?
Transparent? Well, I am a hologram.
Delete"If you're honest with yourself, you'll realize your review session ground rules were not motivated by a desire to establish some rules, but by spite. You were just lashing back with a form of sarcasm. It was insincere and transparent and it just let them know they got to you."
DeleteSounds like something a defense attorney would say to a rape victim.
And as for issuing ground rules like this for a review session, it's not unheard of. My instructors did it and I will continue to do it as well.
DeleteAnd as for a personal insult, there is a difference between a personal insult and reacting to advice that I perceive to be unhelpful. Go through and read the comments again. Constructive criticism occurs when someone gives specific helpful examples. I am NOT going to tell my students that it's okay to leave if a unanimous vote is given. That's just asking for trouble.
Furthermore, so what if you had fewer problems in 7 years than I had in one week? Would you like a cookie? A teaching award, perhaps, for best behaved students?
Or perhaps the snow-storm just hasn't hit you yet.
And, the logical extension of your argument, Wombat, is that instructors who deal with the same problems again and again must be bad. Then I guess that means that EVERYONE on CM must be a bad instructor.
DeleteLast time I checked, we get a different batch of students each semester and the battle begins all over again no matter what we do.
Each semester is different. Sometimes one can go through an entire semester with some peace and quiet, while other semesters can be absolutely hellish. I am willing to own the attendance problem, but I am not responsible for frying their brains on drugs.
But, I do appreciate the advice about the spelling. That WAS constructive.
DeleteI never said, nor do I think, you are a bad professor. I feel bad for you because you are always in these dramatic dean situations and as a fellow adjunct, I have to tell you, that does not bode well for your future. You made an analogy in which you are a rape victim. Rape VICTIM. Do you really think that is called for? Try to stop seeing yourself as a victim at the drop of a hat, and maybe you can start avoiding so much dean involvement. Believe me, this much dean involvement is NOT GOOD FOR YOUR FUTURE. I don't think you can seriously deny that you have a victim mentality when you responded above with that analogy. It has nothing to do with you as a professor. I am sure you are a fine instructor. But you are hurting yourself with this outlook and I think you're too smart, too funny and have just too damn much potential to waste it by shooting yourself in the foot with all of these situations that end in the dean's office.
DeleteI started speaking from the heart and you couldn't see it. All you saw was that you were a victim again. You lashed out and I lashed back, but now I am speaking from he heart again. I'll acknowledge that my second comment was retaliatory, but if you don't see two people trying to help you here, I don't know what to tell you except that no matter what you fling at me next, I'm still sad for you.
Stella said:
DeleteAnd the answer to "Um, if I brought beer, can we cancel class?" is not writing the student up, for Chrissakes. It's a big smile, and "We can cancel any class you like, if students vote on it unanimously. However the material we would have covered during this class is still going to be on the next test. Of course you can always leave and take an absence..."
Really, Stella? If EMH got a talking to for making a comment as innocuous as "How do you guys make it to school without getting killed?" (which is actually quite funny), what makes you think a joke about CANCELING CLASS FOR BEER wouldn't be seen as equally problematic?
Seriously, there is a shortage of a sense of humor in college classrooms, and that's the real problem...not the specific joke. I have known people who made similar jokes who "got in trouble" too. Your know, EMH was just accused of being drunk in class by those same idiots, remember?
Really, Stella? If EMH got a talking to for making a comment as innocuous as "How do you guys make it to school without getting killed?" (which is actually quite funny), what makes you think a joke about CANCELING CLASS FOR BEER wouldn't be seen as equally problematic?
DeleteI never said anything about canceling class for beer. I took it out of the realm of beer when I suggested saying "We can cancel any class you like." Of which I meant every word. In twenty-five years of teaching I've used this method many times.
What they want is to get out of school and not have to be responsible for the content they would have learned. I will easily let them all out, any time they like. But the entire class will still be responsible for what we would have covered that day. When offered that choice, not one student has ever, ever pressed to cancel the class. Ever. Since, like, the Reagan administration.
Treating students as if they are your peers--with the ability to get under your skin, make you mad, cause you to flip out in class, etc.--is a victory for them.
So you don't let them think they have that power. Because if they do, they will do exactly what EMH's students did.
Good Lord!
DeleteWombat and Stella, I'm starting to believe that either you all live in a land of rainbows and unicorns or... gasp...
maybe you have never been in a classroom!
Go be administrators.
The professors at my college would have thrown people out for the things these students are doing, and that was at a SLAC in the early 2000s. It sounds like high school with "writing people up" and sending them to the "principal's" office." These students are adults. Why can't professors just throw them out of their classrooms?
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't that big of a deal. I probably should have added the rest of my intended comment as well, which goes something like: Man, you have my sympathies. This sounds like a really difficult semester for you. I hope it gets better.
ReplyDeleteUgh, the salty language police. First we aren't allowed to say "assholes" and now we can't say "bitches". What about "shitlords" Is that still okay?
ReplyDeleteHem.
My actual comment was about this "in and out" nonsense. How often are we talking? Do you make them ask? I don't say anything about it, and generally in a 2 hour class, maybe a couple people leave to go to the bathroom and come back. I would seriously ask what you did to start with that made them think they can go in and out all the time.
"Shitlords"--I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe.
DeleteThanks!
And it sounds like we are grading each-other's posts again as well!
DeleteShitlords is no good. Gendered insult there. Try gentleshits. Or, if you really want them to feel bad, tell them they're like secondhand dildos.
DeleteEMH, your situation sucks. I do have to agree with Stella, though. You could have managed the review session better. Telling them they can leave if they vote unanimously, but that everything you would have covered would still be on the exam, and giving them a big, evil grin would have scared them sufficiently.
Oh, forgot to mention, yes, the Snowstorm has hit me. I've been going to school my entire life in this blizzard, so I'm well aware of what they're like.
DeleteLeslie put up the picture on the post.
DeleteFunny thing is that the to ladies in the pictures look just like the one's I had to 86. The dude is wearing the same kind of clothes as our Dean of Students.
Perhaps Leslie works at my SLAC?
I meant "two". Sorry!
DeleteWait, since when can't we say "assholes"? It's the perfect word. Non sexist, racist, ageist ... what's the problem? I mean, holy snapping arseholes.
DeleteI missed that memo, too--why no assholes?
DeleteIt was all hurtful or something. Plus the "proffies should be polite and not use curse words" brigade didn't like it. Motherfuckers. Oh, that's presumptively heteronormative and gendered.
DeleteEMH: One thing it would be wise to keep in mind is that you can make mistakes, because everyone does. It's not always them.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's you.
I understand that.
DeleteBut sometimes the offending party is responsible for their actions as well. And I'm willing to admit that there is a little bit of both here. However, having difficult students does not make you a bad teacher.
Would we ask a rape victim, "What did you do to cause him to rape you?"
I meant "doesn't necessarily make you a bad teacher".
DeleteWhat kind of message does that send to the flakes? No wonder we have recurring problems.
DeleteIf you want to get your teacher in trouble, just refuse to follow his/her rules.
I'm lucky to be working at a SLAC that doesn't subscribe to that nonsense.
I'm here to teach, not be a sacrificial lamb to bad parenting and/or drug abuse.
DeleteEMH, I don't think you're getting the point here.
DeleteWait... I honestly don't see the rape victim analogy. I've noticed you've used it twice, EMH, and I don't get what you mean. What does a rape victim have to do with your situation? Are you admitting you fucked up and then claiming that you're a victim here and that it's all the students' faults for baiting you?
DeleteEMH: Are you saying you're like a rape victim? Because you're totally NOT like a rape victim. Rape victims are victims of, well...rape. Whereas you, mostly, seem to be a victim of your own bad judgement.
DeleteIt's pretty much an axiom that students as a whole will try to get away with any sort of bullshit, and blame the teacher for their own failures if they can. That's just the nature of students. Nothing is ever their fault.
This doesn't mean you're getting raped. What it means considering your situation is that "classroom management" is indeed a problem for you.
You're at war with your students. They don't respect you, not in the least. You're the adult in the room. And you have a supportive dean.
Thus I have to assume that the problem is at least mostly with you.
@EMH You seriously need to work on not being a sexist douche. Making comparisons to rape? NOT COOL.
DeleteI didn't read that as a comparison to rape, but a comparison to blame-the-victim argumentation excusing otherwise unacceptable behavior, which is best-known (and most often objected to) in the context of rape.
DeleteAnd teachers get that kind of crap all the time: the assumption that we are required to be not only good at our subjects, and at explaining them, but also moral exemplars, pure as caesar's wife, inhumanly monk-like in our personal habits and character (though senior faculty are permitted to be quirkily nerdish), and that any failure to live up to those standards means that everything our students do to us is our fault.....
Yeah, that sounds a lot like blaming-the-victim to me.
I have to share something with you all about my sister.
ReplyDeleteShe' not an academic; she works in one of those big name bookstores. She has MAJOR problems with "customers" who cause trouble, usually teenagers. She's started dropping the customer service politeness with troublemakers and simply looks at them sternly and says, "OUT!" She's amazed at how they usually get up quickly and flee. No mouthing off, like she usually gets when she tries to reason with them or explain why they're being offensive.
When she told me, it was like a revelation. And I remembered all the times I had troublemakers in class. EVERY SINGLE TIME I used the same approach, there was no or limited drama. Every time I tried reasoning with them like adults, DRAMA! Screaming, tears, complaints, you name it.
Be short, to the point, and give a command. In or out -- CHOOSE. You don't want to be here, then leave now. You're asking disruptive questions, so stop it. You're not funny asking to bring beer, so stop it or leave. Etc. Or, when they do something repulsive, just say "OUT!" and point to the door.
Huh. Wow. I cannot imagine either having such sucky students, or responding to them in such sucky kind. So my sympathies run both ways, with EMH and with the students of EMH. But: this is a SLAC? At the two SLACs where I've worked, that kind of in-class behavior would get you sent out of class and to the judicial office. And that kind of teaching would get you fired.
ReplyDeleteIn or out. It's a classroom, not a cat door.
I've had nightmare classes where a combination of chemistry and enrollment left me with a group that was impossible from Day 1, and they never improved. Half passed the class and the other half disappeared or simply caused trouble, treating my class like they would a stereotypical high school summer class (as in what they'd probably seen in movies about how to misbehave)... My school has NO policy for disruptive students (I kid you not). The Academic Dean has told me I cannot kick students out, unless they're a threat to my or a student's safety. If students misbehave, it's chalked up to MY lack of discipline, despite all of the above factors conspiring to create a class from hell. So I endured. We hated each other, those students and me. But we endured.
ReplyDeleteAnd I mouthed off at them (I remember one epic day when I walked in, asked who had done the assigned work, saw that no one had for the third day in a row--as in no reading, no responding to readings, no bringing of books to class, etc.,--despite threats, cajoling, pleading, and individual conversations to encourage them. I lost it, yelled at them and told them to all get out because they didn't deserve to be getting an education. It was probably the lowest day I've ever had in higher education because I realized I had simply given up on myself and on them). None of them complained to the dean or to my chair, although I confessed to my chair that I was at the end of my rope. The students' response, "What's Dr. CC getting so worked up about? If we don't wanna do it, what's it to her?"
So I get being at the end of a rope and not knowing whether to let go or keep climbing. I would never claim that is analogous to my being a rape victim, though... so I'm still confused by that analogy. I am paid to be in the classroom and to deal with immature little shits. They aren't victimizing me, despite their attempts to manipulate... I'm the one in the position of power. So rape??? No, not even close.
I put rules up on the board on days when I want specific rules followed that are not normally required. When circumstances change significantly, I have altered class structure, rules, or grading policies to more appropriate ones.
ReplyDeleteAnd there are consequences to inattention, disrespect and disorderliness. Or at least there should be.
Sorry, EMH, I don't understand these people, either.
One of the mantras here at CM is you shouldn't care about students' education more than they do. I think that's what's going on with EMH and his students.
ReplyDeleteSomething else that might be true is that EMH is teaching at an SLAC, probably full of upper-middle class students filled with a sense of entitlement, privilege, and self steam. They've learned, early on, that they can get attention by complaining to helicopter mom, so now they'll email the Dean whenever things don't go their way. "I wonder how you get to school without killing yourselves" should be absolutely inoffensive. I've said the same thing, more than once, in class, and everyone got the point. But students where I teach are working poor/working class Latinos. When they screw up, very seldom do they blame the teacher. More privileged kids almost ALWAYS blame the teacher.
There's no easy answer to EMH's problems.
Better "classroom management" is sm non-answer, too. I'm a grievance officer at my unionized school, and I've seen plenty of evaluations where a teacher is criticized for ignoring the fact that 1/3 of the class wandered in late. And I've seen an equal number of evaluations where a different teacher is criticized for stopping whatever s/he was doing, "interupting the flow of the class," to talk about the importance of showing up on time.
Something completely unrelated (maybe). During a discussion yesterday, a student had no idea of who Mitt Romney was.
"C'mon, you're in college! Mitt Romney wants to be President, and not the student body president, but President of the United States. How can you not know about him?
"We don't get cable TV in my house."
+1
DeleteEMH has made some mistakes, but saying things like "sometimes it's you" or "you need better classroom management skills" strikes me as unhelpful.
This whole experience reminds me of my first two years of teaching, actually. I remember how unhelpful and judgey people were; of course I made a lot of mistakes, but what was more frustrating was being told that it was all my fault because I had a "bad attitude" or because I needed to manage my classroom better.
First of all, we shouldn't have to "manage" our classrooms. These are adults. A college teacher should never even have to address bullshit Mickey Mouse issues of behavior and personal conduct. The fact that we have sections on our syllabus about classroom behavior speaks volumes about what college has become--not about our own inadequacy. So when students act out in class, it's never "our fault" for allowing that to happen. It's their fault for being shitty and immature. It's all on them--nothing that you did.
Having said that, when you have these sort of bullshit behavioral issues, I think the first thing to do is develop a teaching persona that's as bland as possible. When I started out I was fun and energetic, but I had a lot of problems with students not taking me seriously. So, as a teacher, I jettisoned all aspects of my personality that might be seen as quirky or controversial. Even now I say absolutely nothing about myself--my students don't know where I'm from, where I went to school, what I study, how old I am, my marital status, my opinions on this or that, or even whether or not I enjoyed the reading. I am extremely low-key. I'm not bland and low-key because I worry that they'll use personal details against me, but because I want to emphasize that our relationship is purely professional. The only thing that's important is the text in front of us--not me, not them, not what they did last night, not even whether or not they "like" what we're doing. I also make class as predictable as possible--I put the day's schedule on the board and stick to it. For some reason, this calms people down.
The other thing I'd suggest is not to put rules and warnings on the board. Those rules strike me as a bit retaliatory. I mean, it should just be a given that if they leave the review session they will miss stuff, or if they fail to ask questions, they will miss points on the exam. And at the end of the day, that's their problem. When they get up to leave or show disinterest, that's when you have to just shrug and grin and say, "Well, good luck on the test."
I can see that Philip has a good head on his shoulders.
DeleteStudents, even though they are presumably at university to learn things, always take it badly when you imply (or say outright) that they don't know things. Even worse is if you point out their ignorance like it is surprising or socially unacceptable. I bet the Mitt Romney thing comes back to bite you in the ass.
ReplyDeleteEarly in my teaching career I expressed surprise that students were unfamiliar with a famous learned person who had a home-town connection. "I am surprised you are ignorant of his existence, since he went to this university" was the essence of the comment. It turned up on the evaluations as "SHE CALLED US IGNORANT AND DISRESPECTED US".
EMH's comment OF COURSE was insulting to people with this mindset. He expressed surprise at their level of mental ability and practical knowledge. That's disrespecting them, man.
It is utterly ridiculous to accuse someone of "blaming the victim" because she gave some advice.
ReplyDeleteIt's not my "fault" that polar bears eat meat, but they do, so I don't hike in the arctic.
It's not my "fault" that I'm allergic to mold, but I am, so I purge the fridge.
It's not my "fault" that my skull isn't impact resistant, so I wear a helmet when I ride my bike.
And it isn't EMH's fault that her students are fucking assholes, but they are. And since I'm a bully lawyer who harrasses a rape victim if I try to give her a tip, the fuck it, I won't.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DeleteCalling someone ignorant or stupid is disrespectful; calling someone uninformed or misinformed is not--at least in my book.
ReplyDeleteI was taught that respect is something that's earned. It's not automatically granted.
"I can't believe a college student like you has never heard of Mitt Romney" seems, to me at least, a reaction to an amazing lack involvement in the real world.
People often say to me "I can't believe an adult like you (and a college teacher to boot) doesn't own a cell phone." They're amazed at MY lack of involvement in the real world, but I don't consider them disrespectful.