Special Serena sent me an email the night before the test. "I suddenly have to have my wisdom teeth out tomorrow - I was on a waiting list and the spot just opened. Can I take the test next week?" (No. But we can weight the other exams more heavily if you bring me appropriate documentation.)
Jovial Julio sent me an email one hour before the test, something nonspecific about "a lot of pain" and "going to the doctor." Can he take the test next week? (No. But we can weight the other exams more heavily if you bring me appropriate documentation.)
Negligent Nancy sent an email, the evening before the exam: "I didn't realize the test was tomorrow. I haven't had a chance to study yet. Could I take it Thursday or Friday instead?" (No.)
Lazy Lance walked in 5 minutes before the test was due to start. "Can I take the test on Thursday or maybe Friday instead?" (No. Have a seat.)
At the end of the exam, as I'm calling time, Worried Wilfred asks, "What do we do if we're not finished?" I had to blink for a moment to come up with an answer. What do you mean, what do you do if you're not finished? "Well, Wilfred," I said, "then you're going to turn it in unfinished." (Not much of a snappy comeback, but it got the point across.)
"But I haven't answered all the questions."
"It's still time to turn it in."
Wilfred came to talk to me immediately after the test to tell me how hard the test was and how long and how all of his other professors would let him follow along to their next class so he could sit in the back and finish the exam. "It just takes me a while to process things," he said. I pointed him in the direction of our disability services office - which apparently he'd never heard of - and shook my head after I closed the door.
Do these excuses come in clumps or did I just get lucky with this test?
"But I haven't answered all the questions."
"It's still time to turn it in."
Wilfred came to talk to me immediately after the test to tell me how hard the test was and how long and how all of his other professors would let him follow along to their next class so he could sit in the back and finish the exam. "It just takes me a while to process things," he said. I pointed him in the direction of our disability services office - which apparently he'd never heard of - and shook my head after I closed the door.
Do these excuses come in clumps or did I just get lucky with this test?
Yes, they do come in clumps. It's funny because I realize I can be a total asshole on CM, but in real life I'm really nice (too nice) to the point that students will get the message that even asking that shit is okay.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I'm going to try in the Fall: develop a personality that is so bland that even water itself wouldn't dare ask for special treatment.
Good luck and don't let 'em get to 'ya!
You don't want bland. You want intimidating.
DeleteThat last excuse was used by none other than Pippi Longstocking, and I thought it was hilarious when I read it in 5th grade! She said, "It's not fair, because I answered all the questions."
ReplyDeleteThat one strikes me as akin to "but I can't be overdrawn! I still have checks in my checkbook" [a joke which will probably make little to no sense to anyone under 30]
DeleteI get that reference!
Delete(I'm 23 and rather fond of my checkbook)
The scheduling of non-emergency dental and other surgery during the school year (as opposed to a vacation) seems to be increasing in my neck of the woods, too. I haven't heard any waiting-list-related excuses, but somebody had to travel several states away because that's where his brother was (I never quite figured out whether his brother *was* a dentist -- in which case wouldn't the general prohibition on working on family apply? or perhaps that doesn't apply to dentists? -- or whether he was going to pose as his brother, who did have insurance.
ReplyDeleteShould "Lazy Lance" perhaps be "5 minutes before the test was due to end?"
ReplyDelete