Real Goddamned Mail: Summer Edition.

• Do you know how long I've read and supported this blog? Since Fab took a vacation - from what, changing fonts? - the number of posts has plummeted. Why aren't you putting out more call for posts, or contacting faculty to get new material for the blog. Traffic drives blogs. Posts drive traffic. This place is going out of business. All of your shitty ads should just be for half price.
• I have terrible internet service where I am this summer. Would it be really hard for you to maybe email me all the posts individually? I wouldn't want any reprinted articles, but everything else would be great. I really have a hard time reading it the normal way.
• I've been reading the blog for three years and nobody has still explained what a thirsty is.
• Xxxxxxx described a faculty member that sounds a lot like me. I'm sure of it, because I'm in the Xxxxxxx and I was recently at a conference. I think you should warn him about being so obvious. He didn't say anything incriminating, but I don't want my business on the Internet. 
• I'm a student, so I don't expect you to answer. But you are always complaining about students asking stupid questions. I thought there was no such things as a stupid question, only stupid teachers.
• Is there any way to block Xxxxxxx and Xxxxxxxx from commenting on my posts? Every time I put something up, they both chime in with their ridiculous remarks. It's clear they are not talking about the same issue as I am. They're both junior college teachers and I try to clearly show how my question or issue revolves around an R1 school. Their answers aren't just wrong, they actually take the focus off of my question, and then the conversation devolves terribly. I know they have a right to be here, but short of telling them NOT to respond, what can we do?
• You have a graphic that looks like me. Seriously. You used it on the post titled Xxxxxxxxx. I know it's obscured and fuzzy, but I think it actually might be an old faculty page photo of mine. Now, if that's just a little inside joke or something, I guess it's no harm. But I protect my anonymity on here pretty stridently. You didn't use the photo on my post or anything, but I think my face might be a little recognizable to some people and I'd hate to be associated with an angry post.
• What's with this "read more" thing? I had a post up last week that was not terribly long, and you cut it in half with a "read more" link. I think I should be able to decide to put that in there if  I want. I edited it out and now my paragraphs have huge spaces. Don't we have a tacit rule that I'll provide you content if you'll leave my posts alone?
• I have a colleague who DOUSES himself in cologn but never showers. Would that make for a funny story?
• Xxxxxxx is a douchebag. Why do you let him comment on everything? I know you have an IP blocker, and I vote you use it on him. Or Xxxxxxx. She bugs the shit out of me.
• Is there any way you can get Walter back? This place needs a kick in the pants. It is so dull lately with this UVa president thing. That fucking story means nothing to the vast majority of readers, yet you're covering it breathlessly like it was the moon landing or an asteroid coming at the Earth.
• What the fuck is it with hamster fur and that shit?
• Is anyone reading these emails I send?
• Ask Hiram if Joetta included any photos.