Or maybe Allen Funt is hiding in the bushes outside of my building.
Because there is no way they are really this helpless or apathetic. No way.
I teach an intro class at a state school. For class they had to read a very well-known document in their reader-- it was listed right in the syllabus, under "Readings." Now, this is a foundational text that they should already be familiar with, but that is beside the point here. I lectured for about half an hour to introduce the topic and sum up the concepts they should have been familiar with from their textbook and previous lectures while they all looked at me like I was speaking Fyarl, then I asked them to break up into small groups to discuss the document in more detail. Once they had split up into their groups (about 15 different groups scattered around the room), hands started to go up. As I walked around to each group to answer their questions, no less than five students waited for me to get to them and then asked me, WITH THEIR BOOKS IN THEIR HANDS, "What page is it on?"
REALLY? ARE YOU REALLY THAT FUCKING HELPLESS? CAN YOU NOT LOOK AT A TABLE OF CONTENTS? YOU EXPECT ME TO WALK AROUND AND LOOK IT UP FOR YOU?
Never mind the fact that they should have already read it (and therefore KNOW how to find it). One group gestured me over and asked "which book is it in?" while looking helplessly at their textbook covers. Another informed me that the page numbers in the syllabus were wrong (it seems I forgot to change it from the old edition) and when he went to do the reading the night before the page listed was the middle of a document, so he couldn't do the reading (and yes, the title of the document was listed before the page numbers).
I give up. From now on I will simply hand them a list of things they should know, and give multiple choice questions that are phrased exactly the same as the handouts. My lectures will be simply reading those handouts while they underline the key terms. And I'm sure, if I do this, they will still ask "where in the handout is this term?"
Sounds like it's time to make those discussion groups actually produce something graded, pop quiz style.
ReplyDeleteArgh! The kicker is, they DO have to turn in something at the end of this activity. Yet they STILL don't care. Until I start handing out Ds and Fs like candy, and then they complain to the dean. *SIGH*
DeleteThe "what page" thing is something I've seen more and more. It only happens because someone else has allowed them to get away with it. I remember a few years ago when this would happen I would answer, "Oh, it's 150." But then I realized what I was doing.
ReplyDeleteNow, there's not a chance I'll help. But it's not just this question, it's all the things they need a mommy to do for them, and - oh God I hate to say this - I hear my female colleagues complain more about this than the men.
Actually, I subbed in local middle schools soon after I finished graduate school (yeah, the job market in higher ed was THAT hot!).
ReplyDeleteAnywhoo ... when I would attempt to lead the teacher-left lessons, I got exactly that sort of learned helplessness. I had been a 7 - 12 teacher in an earlier life, so I wasn't going to succumb, figuring they were just trying to get over on the sub.
But then they just STOPPED working. The more blatant classes, just waited for the marginally smart kid to do his/hers and then passed the fill-in-the-blank paper around the room.
It really came to a head when I was left an open book quiz to administer and, you guessed it, they refused to do it unless they were told which pages the answers were on.
So I remember when we would have gotten F's for such behavior. My elementary teacher would have smacked us with rulers (no, I did not go to school in the US) or sent us home in shame, or I simply would have received an F. I didn't like getting F's. I wanted to please my parents and the ruler-wielding teachers with a good report card. I am in no way condoning corporal punishment, but I am trying to draw a correlation between consequences and behavior. Why do they behave like this? Because they've learned they can get away with it.
ReplyDeleteA colleague and I were just talking about the old days when we used to just write our homework assignments on the (actual, slate) blackboard each day. We both agreed that it seemed as though students had far less trouble remembering their homework back then.
ReplyDeleteNow that it's projected from Moodle onto the screen at the beginning of each class, available 24/7 via Moodle, accessible through a quick text to a friend, and verifiable via e-mail to me, they just plumb can't remember to do their homework. I actually had a kid today who had been absent and wanted to know what the assignment was. I asked him if he's checked Moddle, and he muttered "uh....no...I ...didn't know their was a Moodle page."
Sometimes I still write the hw on the board if I'm not booting up the computer that day. A bunch of kids will come up to the board and take a picture of it with their smartphones instead of just writing it the f**k down. And then they forget to do it.
Tangent: with all the commendable hoopla about sustainability, I think the chalkboard ought to make a comeback. I've tried and tried to find a way to recycle dry-erase markers, to no avail. Apparently they contain toxic material and can't be recycled. So, yay, we throw them in the landfill. How many markers disposed of each week? If I knew that number, I'd have to call in sick to spend a full day weeping for the planet. At least slate is a natural product, and when chalk is gone, it's gone.
" A bunch of kids will come up to the board and take a picture of it with their smartphones instead of just writing it the f**k down."
DeleteI've seen them take cell phone pictures of powerpoint slides that are posted on the F**king course website! The mind boggles.
"I'm speaking English?"
ReplyDelete"No, you're speaking Fyarl. I happen to speak Fyarl."
Do I get extra credit for recognizing the reference? :D
You get ALL the credit for recognizing the reference :)
DeleteI don't know why I STILL find that exchange funny.
Dang, I didn't get it; I guess I never thought about how "Fyarl" was spelled. Thanks for spelling it out for us poor non-librarian types.
DeletePlease don't give up. Exactly what they need is an adult who is not willing to hover over them, the way their doting helicopter parents did. I keep saying to mine, "A boss in the real world wouldn't like that..." Otherwise is to invite more criticism that we proffies don't prepare our students for the real world, and it would be well justified.
ReplyDeleteLast week, I wasn't feeling well, so after the first hour of a two-hour class, I sent them home.
ReplyDelete"You mean we can go right now?"
"Yes, sorry, but I'm cancelling the rest of the class for today."
"Do we have to come next week?"
What gets me is that they are so guileless whenever they do/ask any of the above!
ReplyDeleteI'm so helplessly dumb that I don't even know I'm helplessly dumb? Next I will expect them to purr when I praise them. Cats seem smarter!
DeleteHerman Kahn, in his 1976 book, "The Next 200 Years," had a phrase for this: educated incapacity. He defined it as "an acquired or learned inability to understand or even perceive a problem, much less a solution." Your students wouldn't do this, if they hadn't learned from overly doting parents and teachers that they need to learn to be more independent. As you can see, fixing it can be real hell, since you'll be taking on a lifetime of bad habits. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteAnd, as I said in another post, they get REVENGE.
DeleteHow very dare you educate them!
It bugs me when students use the open ended part of the evaluation to complain about things I have no control over, the temperature of the room, the time the class is offered, the prereqs for the course.
ReplyDeleteI had a student a couple of years ago who complained at length in his/her comments about the bathrooms in the building that housed our classroom. The numericals on that evaluation included 1s (lowest score) for EVERY category.
I went through the whole "what page is it on" situation this week with a single student as the others were able to find it. When the question was first asked I ignored it until he insisted in a loud voice that I tell him. I looked at the student thinking of all the comments that could be made as students around him began to turn red and purple while biting tongues waiting for the answer. So,very softly, I said it: "It starts on page 1."
ReplyDeleteHoly crap!!
ReplyDeleteEvery time I think I've read the ultimate story on student stupidity along comes a tale that exceeds it. I never would have even thought of asking some of the things these cretins do. I would have been afraid of being sent to the principal's office, parents being called (in those days we strove to minimize interaction between the school and parents), and being placed in Special Ed classes because we were obviously mentally deficient.
Holy crap!!
ReplyDeleteEvery time I think I've read the ultimate story on student stupidity along comes a tale that exceeds it. I never would have even thought of asking some of the things these cretins do. I would have been afraid of being sent to the principal's office, parents being called (in those days we strove to minimize interaction between the school and parents), and being placed in Special Ed classes because we were obviously mentally deficient.
Something similar happened to a colleague of mine while working in the tutoring center. A student asked him how they could find out the meaning of a set of words. So, my colleague grabbed a dictionary. The next day, we found out that the student went over to the admin building and complained and even involved our title iii coordinator. It wasn't pretty, and the incident was used against my colleague and he was let go.
ReplyDeleteAnd this makes me fear for our society even more.
ReplyDelete