Saturday, November 24, 2012

Where The Real RYS Definition of an Academic Haiku Comes Out of Mothballs. 5 Years Ago on RYS. Did Anyone Check on the Alpaca While I've Been Gone?


Seriously, Academic Haiku Are Not Really Haiku At All. They're Enigmatic and Short Free Verse. And Usually People Hate Them. Watch for More Next Week!

Hey, RYS fools:
even your "real haiku" ain't
the real deal. Schlemiels.

True haiku are more
than five-seven-five. They must
focus on nature

Your webpage drabbles
are better called "senryu";
Hope you don't teach lit.


  1. This page is an embarrassment. I'm glad to see so many posts have no comments at all. The man who runs it is bitter and mean, a juco part-timer who should be ashamed.

    1. You missed a plot twist in the long-running saga of who's-moderating-the-page, Rafael, but if you can't keep up*, I'm not cluing you in.

      *or don't want to keep up, which would be fine with me, really. There are plenty of other blogs to read and comment on, or not, as you choose. But if you're going to insult the RGM(s) (i.e., those in charge) effectively, you really have to keep up with who they/he/she are/is. At the moment, you're sounding like the student who walks into class 15 minutes late, and proceeds to ask all the questions the instructor answered in the first five minutes. And yes, like our students, we're rolling our eyes behind your back.

    2. Oh, and suggesting association with a "juco"/community college is *not* an insult around here. The community college professors are the front-line troops, exposed to the absolute worst of the misery, but advancing nevertheless, doing their best by their students, and, incidentally, protecting the rest of us from the worst fallout of the K-12 system (which is, I hasten to add, not the fault of the K-12 teachers, the great majority of whom are also doing their best in very difficult circumstances). Those of us in more privileged positions regard community college teachers with the same respect that someone who contributed to a war from a relatively protected position regards those who experienced weeks or months of live fire. Our hats are off to them, and if you want to hang around here without getting roughed up, yours better be, too.

    3. Yo Rafael,

      Just for that, I am going to be gratuitously vicious, cruel, and mean to my class on Monday, and there isn't a thing you can do about it, you pathetic little minnow dick, since I have tenure. I am laughing at you, and your mom.

    4. Chill winds harm us not
      Posturing is his nature
      Honest_Prof, again

  2. I'm still a bit confused about whether the Alpaca need to be fed, or are in the freezer waiting to be eaten. Maybe Fab's mention of alpaca stew was just a ploy to lure Cal back to the compound?

    Also, is (A)(a)lpaca capitalized or not?

    And Greta's haiku nearly always have a natural (as well as a higher ed-induced misery) element. I don't know whether that counts as "focus[ing] on nature," but whatever they are, they're pretty cool, and always cheer me up (even when they're depressing. In that way, they're the quintessence of CM: letting the misery out somehow makes it better).

  3. Sun on the green leaves
    makes me aware of a fact:
    Rafael is a bore

  4. fuck you, I'm juco
    no ivory towers, no ivy-covered walls:
    academe's potato fields

    1. I'm juco too, Phil
      We can teach the pants off of
      'flakes like Raphael

    2. Ain't nothin' wrong with potatoes or potato fields, either. The population of Europe doubled within 100 years after their introduction to Europe.

      potatoes: don't smirk:
      our brave new world indigen
      fed your folk, feeds you.

  5. Tender alpaca
    Roasting gently on the grill
    It's what's for dinner