This weekend I became the first 50+ year old man to finish all of the 19 Twilight movies. (I think I saw 19 of them. At least it feels like it.)
I was Team Edward all the way, so I'm a winner! That other guy turned out to be a fucking dog.
AND, on a nearly inconsequential extra credit assignment I had a student turn in a Twilight essay that she - wait for it - STOLE off the internet. YAY!
Here's part of it!
Isabella Swan is a character in Twilight. Bella is very ordinary and plain. She is seventeen years old. Edward Cullen, in contrast, is a vampire described as being anywhere from a Greek God to a chiseled masterpiece. He comes from an extremely wealthy family. Edward has lived for over one hundred years. He is described as being a "vegetarian vampire," living off animal blood instead of human blood. Bella moves from Phoenix, Arizona to Forks, Washington. This is where she meets Edward Cullen. Despite him being cold, and rude to her, she is drawn to him.
Edward displays stalking tendencies towards Bella. He sneaks into her bedroom at night to watch her sleep. When Bella discovers that Edward has watched her sleep for months she is neither alarmed nor concerned. Edward is a mind reader, and can read anyone's mind but Bella's. In order to keep tabs on Bella, he reads her friends minds.