There are days when I wake up and want to throttle you.
You come to class, sometimes, and you raise your hand. A lot. And nothing you say has ANYTHING to do with what we are discussing.
"Hamster fur is important for development in the world," you say, looking around for approval. Everyone stars at you, wondering where the hell that came from when we were talking about underwater basket weaving. Later in the class: "I think that we should remember the presence of God when we talk about this." Another student covers for you by trying to tie "god" to our unholy subject. Thank you, Golden Student, but maybe next time we should just stare Stevie down until he cracks.
Stevie, I'd have to say you've failed all of the homework so far, a stunning feat. But it isn't for lack of trying; you keep submitting something, anything, on topic, off topic. There is nothing about the reading in your work. Three of them have begun "I guess...." because you clearly are in your own spacey world. Your topic sentence often pays attention to the prompt of the assignment, but then you move on to completely and totally unrelated crap. I ask for 200 words; you give me 25. I ask for 5 pages, you give me a laundry list of information about the book's publication.
You have plagiarized twice. Shouldn't that be grounds for failing you and sending you to the higher-ups? But no: what you have plagiarized is such nonsense that the higher-ups don't know what to do about it.
For a 5-page essay, you submitted a copy of the school rules for campus conduct. (not the plagiarism code, the "treat each other with respect, no yelling, no alcohol, no drugs" code)
For a proposal on a research paper, you copied and pasted part of an editorial about the new school buildings from our poorly-written school newspaper. (atrociously-written, really)
And I try to corner you when you do come to class, but you arrive late and slip out before I am done with the lesson. I email you; you do not answer. Your student adviser calls your cell phone and leaves repeated, unanswered voicemails.
Stevie, it was funny at first. Then it became bold, even audacious. Nailing you for obvious plagiarism was entertaining. But this is getting beyond funny. It's getting ridiculous. And your squirmy ass is beginning to piss me off.
Next class, I am going to hold up class time to talk to you in the hall while everyone else waits. It has come to this. I am now a 4th grade teacher holding your hand so I can tell you that you are a complete and total blasted idiot and that you need to drop the course and start over, or come clean about the crazy amazing drugs you are doing.
If it's the drugs, do you have enough for the whole class?
Don't ever hunt students down and force information upon them. Ever. Just grade everything they turn in and quietly fail them. Never hold up class to speak to one student. The other students will see, and what they will think is: "It's the teacher's responsibility to tell me if there's a problem." No, it's not. The syllabus clearly states the policies. You are not obligated to reiterate them. It feels good to confront a student like Steve, but it only creates more problems for you.
ReplyDeleteIf he says something spacey in class, you give him a puzzled stare, say "That doesn't relate to what we're talking about," and go to another student.
If he's interested in his progress, he'll come to you. Obviously he's not. Leave him be.
Leave him be.
In general, I agree one-hundred percent. But Stevie sounds like he may have more going on than apathy. This sort of disordered speech (and writing) is a symptom of several psychological disorders, among them schizophrenia, and it would be very, very good to get Stevie some help. It sounds like AM has made efforts in that direction, and they've not been successful. I wouldn't single him out in class, but I would end class ten minutes early and stand by the door to grab him and walk him to the counseling center (after giving them a call beforehand).
DeleteStella, this particular university penalizes me financially for every student that fails.
ReplyDeleteGAah! What the *hell*?
DeleteIs that even possible? How is that an academic institute?
DeleteAM--Then pass him. Or leave. The only response to this sort of bullshit is to leave, or pass everyone. Others will scream that I suggest this, but in such a situation, what else is there to do? Why are you even investing the smallest bit of extra energy in this? They can't possibly pay you enough.
DeleteThey penalize you financially for students that fail? Then pass them. Pass them all. Every last one.
I get the impression that this blog is no longer about complaining about the things we cannot change.
DeleteOMG!!! This IS OZ then, right??!!
DeleteAM: No, complain away, I am just in shock because I've never heard of a place like this. But the more I think about it, the more I'm convinced it could happen almost anywhere. And it will take away all credibility of the institution.
DeleteAM--it's always been a blog where people tell you what they think--especially if they think u r doin' it rong, and MOST especially if doin' it rong is going to give you grief you don't deserve.
ReplyDeleteAnd you can certainly change whether or not you hold up class to talk to him.
Ugh. It does sound like an escape plan is in order, but I'm assuming you aren't working for this particular institution (which sounds like it needs to declare both moral and intellectual bankruptcy) because you turned down some better offer.
ReplyDeleteI'm also assuming that the financial penalty won't keep you from failing this student, because, really, you do have to fail him (and it sounds like that's what you intend to do, if you can't get him to drop first. Is there a penalty for students who drop?) .
I really hope that his "adviser" is something more than a glorified salesperson intent on keeping him enrolled and his tuition dollars flowing. Because I'm with Chiltepin: this one sounds like he's in need of serious help. Even if drugs are involved, I bet they're not recreational, but an attempt to cope with some badly tangled mental wiring. For whatever it's worth, my school's information on dealing with troubled students says that FERPA does *not* apply to troubling speech or behavior observed in class (or office hours), just to grades (I'm not sure about writings, but I seem to remember there was some reporting of those at VA Tech without FERPA protests). All you're really responsible for is holding the line by responding appropriately to his work, and reporting your concerns through the appropriate channels. But if this school doesn't have anything resembling real mental health counselors, you might consider seeing if there's any way to reach someone who might help (e.g. a parent or sibling) before end-of-semester grades come out. This kid is in trouble. I'm not sure you can do much about it, especially if your school doesn't have much of a support system in place (another reason not to work for such places, I suppose, though I can't claim I've ever checked out the mental health support services before accepting an adjunct gig, and I have mixed feelings about schools taking so much responsibility in this area anyway; still, in similar situations, I have been relieved to have a reasonably well-functioning support system to call in, since this stuff is way, way outside my areas of talent and/or expertise). But I think you have to try. I'm not at all sure that talking to the student at any time (during class hours or not) is going to do any good; my guess it that the main result will be that he ceases coming to class at all. But I don't see a huge problem with taking 2-3 minutes to try to set up an appointment to talk in more detail (though I'm pretty sure that, even if he does make the appointment, he won't show).
Mind you, if *he* were always trying to use class time to talk to you privately, I'd say that you need to draw boundaries about that, stat. This seems like a different case.
DeleteI really thought you guys would laugh at this, that's all.
ReplyDeleteYou being financially penalized for failing your students is not funny. Seriously. I can't laugh at that. I can only imagine ways to undermine or subvert the system.
DeleteWell, we're missing the context one gets from face to face interaction. He sounds seriously out of it to me, but maybe you've got reason to think, from his manner, that he's more of a class clown and/or cheerfully disruptive slacker. Stranger things have happened. On the other hand, one can't discount just how disturbed some of the students parents (and, in some cases, therapists) are sending off and/or encouraging to stay in college these days, apparently in the mistaken belief that we're running some sort of academic version of a sheltered workshop. Many of these students need far, far more help than we can provide.
DeleteAnd I agree with Stella on the business of financial penalties for failure. If I were running the world (or at least the higher-ed system), that rule would result in automatic denial of accreditation.
Maybe one of our roles here is to point out to each other when we might be unconsciously playing the role of the frog in the slowly heating stockpot. Just how crazy do the policies the administrators create, and/or the students they let in (and try to retain) have to get before you decide it's time to go. We all have different breaking points, but sometimes it's hard to see when they've been exceeded when one is in the middle of a situation.
Don't fail him. Give him a D- or whatever will allow you to get the full paycheck. Meanwhile, keep looking for employment at another school. And when you get that fucking great job offer you deserve, call the accrediting agency (for me, it's SACS; for you, it's either MSA or NEASC, right?) and tell them about the fucktards who penalized you for giving failing grades. The conversation will go something like this: "Yes, my dean's name is Doctor John Fucktard.... Yes.... F-U-C-K-T-A-R-D.... Fucktard.... John.... and he penalized all of us for giving low grades.... Yes, my students could not even spell their own names correctly, and Dean Fucktard told me to give them passing grades.... Yes, you're right, his name is an aptronym, because he is a fucktard...."
ReplyDeletePerhaps this kid is actually a performance artist, and his antics will be compiled for context at his next installation at the Whitney.
ReplyDeleteIt occurs to me that he may be truly suffering from a mental illness. It is actually sad. I think he might not really realize what he is doing. I only say this because this sound familiar to me- not the I lose money if I fail kid but the totally inappropriate behavior strikes me as a sign of something seriously wrong.
ReplyDeleteI feel for you, AM.
Once the onus is on the instructor to retain, and once word gets out that the instructor is "too hard" or "disrespectful," that instructor faces the real possibility of underenrollment, course cancellations, and subsequent loss of income. AM's situation might sound extreme at first, but I see a distressing pattern developing. In solidarity, I wish you much fortitude, AM!
ReplyDelete