You can call me DrMagnus! The somewhat rural, small state university I work at is a good deal the like the Sanctuary run by my namesake! Trust me, this place is full of Abnormals - vampires (you know who you are!), shapeshifters (fellow faculty members who change at a moment's notice), werewolves (why does administration act so weird when it gets to be a full moon?), and lots of unusual people (like the barefooted kid in the kilt with the massive walking stick that calls himself a Shaman). And the occasional normal person (myself not included).
Rumor has it that at one time the nearby mental health facility was considered a possible location for our college, the College of Hamster and Gerbil Science. I wish they had bought that building! I will need a padded cell within two weeks.
I have to go to Old City with a small pack of senior abnormals to deliver a corporate-sponsored Hamster Habitat. Here are a sampling of the topics I learned about from last trip I made with them: (a) if you live in a rural area you can go outside naked and no one cares, (b) hamsters will eat their babies, (c) that there are a variety of ways to hide illegal drugs in your car, (d) that mutual comrate C (not in this group) and his bride HAD NEVER done you know what (my euphemism substituted here) before they married? (they are very, very concerned for this new groom) (e) that you can bet a group of seniors WILL INDEED insult the company supporting their senior project.
We have a driver ... I will call him Mr. Ice. He has incredibly selective hearing, nerves of steel, and the patience of 1,000 Zen Buddhist monks. How I envy this man.
I cannot avoid escorting them. First, it would be a crime against Old City to release them into the public and this stage of their academic development. Second, my boss would not be happy. Not at all happy. We don't want to make him angry. We won't like him when he is angry.
How do I transport a group of abnormals to Old City without ending up in the asylum? I think I will go on Am@z0n and look for a tranq pistol (for myself!) and some industrial strength ear plugs. If you don't hear back from me within three weeks, you will know I have snapped.