Tuesday, July 9, 2013

A CM Flashback From a Former Correspondent Who Ain't Been Round Much. 3 Years Ago Today.

from: The Meanest Prof Ever.

The Scary Realization that I Keep Seeing My Students on TV

Ok, I admit it. I have been watching too much documentary-style reality TV.

No, not crap like The Bachelor(-ette) or Real Housewives of Nowhere Special.

My fave is actually The Little Couple (Doctor Jen is the bomb!), but that show's not applicable to this post. I've been watching stuff like Little People, Big World and Police Women of (insert crime-ridden area here) and I am shocked that I keep seeing my students on these shows! Ok, not my actual students. But, I keep seeing people who remind me of them.

Little People, Big World features a family of 2 dwarf parents with 1 dwarf child and 3 "normal" height children. The 2 oldest sons are twins who are now attending college. Whoa! Watching their snowflakery is giving me flashbacks!

Some highlights: Kids attend private Christian high school. They have small classes. They don't do homework. They get failing grades. They do "extra credit" projects to pass basic classes. They (and their friends) go to summer school. One of their friends flunked senior year. The twins "forgot" to apply to college, so they go to community college instead. They bring a new meaning to the word slacker (in a collegiate sense)...and I've had their analogs in my own classes many times. Dear God, I hope they're not role models!

Police Women of... follows a handful of female police officers on their daily patrols. We get to see them in danger, how they do their jobs, and the odd people they encounter. I get flashbacks when they confront lawbreakers because the crooks act just like some of my former students!
Cop: *pulls bag out of perp's pocket* Is this your weed?

Perp: No. No, man. That ain't my weed. You framin' me, man. That ain't mine. Where'd it come from?
MeanProf: *points to paper* See this paragraph? It's plagiarized. Here's the original... *pulls out original source with paragraph highlighted.*

Perp...er, student: No. No, man. I ain't no plagiarist. It was an accident! Yeah, it's just an accident. You're accusing me because you're out to get me! I didn't do nothing wrong.

I've always seen student-analogs on Judge Judy and The People's Court, but going to small claims court is a situation any of us could theoretically be involved in. But when I realized my students almost always seem to take the same naysaying attitude when they are caught breaking the rules as common criminals do when caught committing a crime, that's kinda scary when you think about it! And it's no wonder some of us feel more like police officers than teachers.

I don't know what the heck all this means, but I don't really care for the unsettled feeling it's given me.


  1. Funny, I could've sworn I saw my students on "The Kardashians," but that can't be right because my students aren't smart or talented enough.

  2. Every semester I have a Gob Bluth.

  3. Who says the Kardashians are smart or talented?

  4. My sister teaches high school in a very rough environment. Once she was approached by a threatening-looking stranger, who kept coming closer, until he said "Hi Miz Portunalis"! Then she recognized him--she hadn't seen him since he was a teenager so it took a minute. She said, "So how are you doing?" and he said "I'm out on work-release."

  5. For me, it's Princess (which I think only airs in Canuckistan). The premise: entitled young women (and a few men) are confronted with their expensive and entitled behaviour, forced to embrace their financial reality, and are given financial guidance for moving forward. A few gems resist reformation, but every time one of the young ladies goes afoul of the show's expectations, she cries, "It's not my fault!"

  6. What ever happened to Meanest Prof Evah? I miss him/her!!!