With apologies to The Beaker.
9. Get to set my autoreply to “I’ll get back to you when I get back to you.”
8. Lots of pencils, lots of books, without the students’ dirty looks.
7. Get to say “not just no, but fuck no” to unsolicited requests for my time.
6. Research!!! Did I mention I get to write up the results in my underpants?
5. And with a beer in my hand.
4. Extra time to plot the destruction of my institution and everyone in it.
3. My calendar for this semester includes a plenary lecture at a Mediterranean resort, a research trip to one of the best wine regions in the world, and not much else.
2. You say that my letter of rec didn’t get there in time? Please see #9.
1. I haven’t interacted with an undergrad since May 2nd and my next interaction with one is still slightly more than a year away.
I want a sabbatical, preferably starting tomorrow, except then my nearly-finished syllabi and handouts would be wasted, so I'd settle for January. Then I'd have the pleasure of anticipation, too. Unfortunately, there are a few additional steps I'd have to complete first, such as getting a tenure-track job, and tenure.
ReplyDeleteI don't spend sabbaticals in this town. I try to forget the town, the U, the people, exist. Even the country; I've spent all of mine overseas so far. Email from here? Rarely answered.
ReplyDeleteWe have to apply for our sabbaticals, which need to be approved by the Provost. Last time it took two attempts, and my application last year was denied as well. I have a job for tovarich Strelnikov.
We only get partial sabbaticals or the equivalent of one class off for 10 weeks, which is pretty much useless because we still have to teach (minus one class)...
ReplyDelete