Monday, August 26, 2013

"Dear Doctora Colleague." From Dr. Amelia.

Thank you so much for taking the time to write to me on behalf of Johnny Flake. How nice that Johnny felt comfortable coming to you with his concerns about my class. I think it is probably because he already came to me to ask if he could miss every other Friday because of his job as a campus tour guide. I told him that would, in fact, be a problem.

And let me now say the same to you. It's a problem. Johnny should drop the class in favor of a section that meets at a time more convenient for him and his busy schedule.

I did not know that in Humanish Staticology, your faculty believe that students are too impaired on Fridays to do meaningful work, so you don't plan anything important. Unfortunately, here in Hamsterfurweaving, we feel like each of the the 50 or so hours of class time we get to prepare them to make the coats and blankets that warm our nation and keep it together are each important and needed. So we do important things. Every class. No, I can't just give him "make up work." You kind of have to be there. Feel free to send Johnny back to me and I'll tell him again. Or you can, if you want to keep him comfortable.

Dr. Amelia


  1. Ah, yes, the student advocate who knows nothing of the real situation and believes the student without checking with a colleague about what's REALLY going on. I usually get these kinds of silly emails from staff, not from fellow faculty.

  2. First of all, Amelia I love this post! It's what we wish we could say but never can. Funny! I hope it helps you get over the idiocy of your colleague. God praise College Misery.

    And that graphic. I'm going to write a Dear Colleague post just so I can use it.

  3. This colleague must come from the kind of department that condones the cancel-all-Fridays mentality that we see running rampant all over the Twittersphere. Heinous.

  4. I agree with Hiram. This is one of my favorite all-time posts on CM. Thank you for providing some inspiration! Oh, and let the profflakes have it!