Friday, August 30, 2013

Stuck In Front of a Blackboard With Some Email Fun!

Student email:
hello, my name is lea haines, i am in Mr. Rosales' Physics 50 class. I was wondering if you would be willing to proctor a retake test for me this friday the 30th? i am unable to take my test in class and my teacher has said if i can find another professor to proctor it i can retake it. I can come anytime on friday. Please let me know if you would be willing to do so. thank you!
The response I sent in my head:
I have never met you, I don't teach Physics, I have no idea who Mr. Rosales is, and I have better things to do than try and chase down your professor and proctor a test for you.


Student email:
Hello Professor Ling, my name is Shawn and i just recently moved here on Saturday to be exact and i took my placement test today and i was wondering and hoping that there was room in your Psych 5 class from 1:10-2:00 if you could let me know asap it would be very well appreciated sorry for any inconvenience.
The response I sent in my head:
Well Shaun, i'm sorry but our semester started two weeks ago and even though i'm only required to teach 30 students i let in 15 extra students from off the wait list because i want to make sure that as many students as possible can take the class and so if there had been extra room in the class it would have gone to somebody else because they came here first and you would probably have a difficult time catching up anyway after having missed the first week and a half of class so maybe its best that you just try and take the class next semester is that okay?


Email from a colleague, in response to several emails and voicemails trying to schedule a meeting:
i can make 3-4. you should know i am opposed to collecting "useful data"
The response I sent in my head:
You should know that I am opposed to having to send multiple emails, leave multiple voicemails, and then have to track you down in person to get you to commit to coming to a meeting. You have been placed on this shitty committee by the powers that be, and if your lazy ass does anything to make my life harder now, I will make sure you get put on as many shitty committees as possible if I ever get the power to do so.

6 comments:

  1. Re: Meetings.

    I've found that the easiest thing to do is simply schedule a time convenient to me, and then let them complain. They get back to you far faster.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like Three Sigma's approach. If you're feeling a bit more accommodating, doodle.com also works: you fill in three or four times that would work for you, then let the rest of the committee indicate which of those choices would be best for them. There's room for comments, but that doesn't mean you have to read them. Anyone who doesn't reply by a certain date/time has to cope with what others have decided, a la Three Sigma's approach.

      Delete
    2. Thanks for the tips! It's my first time having to corral my colleagues, and it's definitely turning into a learning experience. This may also be the last time I demonstrate enough competence to have someone put me in charge of anything.

      Delete
  2. And of course, email them to let them know that task assignments will be given at the meeting they can't make, and that you are SURE they will be happy to take on any assignments made.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Re: Email standards.

    How many times have I wished I could reply the way Stuck did to the second student? Instead, I send a formatted signature that includes how to write email to a professor.

    But the colleague? WTF?

    ReplyDelete

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