Do you have any snappy comebacks for when someone says “You only got into [institution of higher education]
- I have to give a nod to my superior intellect and your insufficient social skills
- You're an asshole.
- Fuck off
- What is this, the 1970s?
- Are you upset that your untalented friend didn't get in after I beat him in the all-around?
- Seriously, fuck off.
But, Letter Writer, more importantly: why bother speaking to such people? As soon as someone says this to you, you immediately realize that they are not worth your time. There is nothing you could say that will make this person esteem you more except pure competence. If you are competent on a regular basis, then slowly this person will realize the error of the original comment. There is so much to research and publish. Don't worry about educating your colleagues about their egregious social ineptitude. Do the basic necessities in social situations and then publish your ass off and get promoted over them.
So maybe instead of "Fuck you!" you should go with:
- I must have gotten lost on the way to the kitchen
- I have no idea how it happened!! I am just a girl, right?
- I'm just suspicious of the gay black kid over there. HE'S AFTER OUR JOBS!!!
Or even the careening subject change to make them fear your sanity:
- Did you hear about the Chancellor getting abducted by aliens?
- Autism really is caused by vaccines, you know.
- Obamacare will raise your social security taxes!!
And let the problem take care of itself.