Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Students get laid. I get lied to. The unfairness of it all!

Ah, fall time.  All summer, I miss the cool breeze, spectacular colors of leaves, football tailgating and plagiarism.  Er, wait.  What was that last one?

Classes started so I have to deal with the copied lab reports.  Here is a sample of this year's crop of excuses.

10. I didn’t copy the whole paragraph.

 9. Just because I forgot to change the date when I copied last year’s report doesn’t mean I should be caught plagiarizing.

8. I have never copied anything in my life and I’m appalled that you would accuse me of this.

7. There are opening and closing quotes at the beginning and end of the paper. I also referenced the source.

6. It's not fair that I get in trouble for plagiarizing because you never said that you would be checking.

5. I didn’t copy anything. My roommate wrote the assignment.

4. I know that the odds of me writing that paragraph all by myself and it matching Wikipedia are extremely small but it could still happen.

3. I have never copied anything in my life and I’m appalled that you would accuse me of this.

2. This was my first time plagiarizing. I promise to get better.

1. I know now that the syllabus says not to copy lab reports but where does it say that I’m supposed to read the syllabus? You never gave us a handout saying that.


I am not only disappointed that they plagiarize but their excuses reveal a complete ignorance of current events.  If they followed politics, they would use much better lies.


10 comments:

  1. #7 doesn't sound like plagiarism, but it does sound like somebody's wasting somebody else's time (much like much of higher education).

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  2. < puzzled comment > And did LK change the comment format thingamajiggy during the last couple of days? Or was that another change imposed by Blogger? It seems different. I haven't had any alcohol in the last couple of days, btw. < / puzzled comment >

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    1. If Blogger changed it, then I hate it. If LK changed it, then I love it. If Cal changed it, then I have no opinion, but I suddenly feel very musical inside.

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  3. We've done nothing to the comment form on our end. Depending on browser, you may be seeing a slightly revised Blogger setup.

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  4. Gaaaaah!!!!! What, no parents claiming THEY helped, and therefore, it's OK?

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    1. I had one of those this past spring. The father wrote the paper, then complained to the administration after I ripped "his daughter's paper" to shreds. In the process of complaining, he admitted to doing the final draft for her.

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  5. 8 and 3 are my personal favorites. Ahhhh, the outrage!

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  6. I'm sure #7 is a subtle point for many of them. It's interesting that there are people who don't think that counts as plagiarism. I do; it's not a technical/legal matter of attribution, but one of producing original content.

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    1. This is why I discuss this in terms of "academic integrity" rather than plagiarism in my syllabus. It's the umbrella term for all the shady things (copying, using unauthorized assistance, cheating, plagiarizing, etc.) they think of doing instead of just doing the work as assigned and expected. Referring to the academic integrity policy also allows me to ding them for reusing writing within my course, since I expect all essays to be written as new, separate texts.

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    2. Lucy, that's a good idea. It also reinforces the idea that their behavior in class is not separate from their behavior at work or elsewhere. Good behavior is always based on integrity. I like the idea of lumping cheating, plagiarizing, lying about excuses, etc. under one policy.

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