Thursday, October 31, 2013

Oh Why Did I Pick This Sub? From Kimmie.

Why does my yearly medical exam always fall on a busy school week?

Why did I pick a sub I've never used before because my unreliable department pals raved about her and how "fun" she was?

Why did I get a note from the sub afterwards that said, "Oh, I had a delightful time with your kids. It was so interactive and fun."

Why, when returning to class did so many of my students say, "Dr. Smiley was so much fun!"

Why was I surprised when I learned that Dr. Smiley only did half the things I had planned?

Why did Dr. Smiley tell my students they could do the assignment in an "alternate" way because there was always room for a "rule to bend."

Why isn't this alcohol working yet?


  1. Good grief! That rule to bend thing is nearly pathological. Dr. Smiley is on my shit list.

  2. Yeah, "fun" is almost always code for something else.

    I taught one place where the subbing culture was huge, but it was all shared among about 5-6 full timers who liked the little financial boost it brought. Some pals often swapped classes with each other for the most minor of scheduling problems because it added something like $60 a class to their salaries.

    I asked about it and they were a little evasive about it. A glitch, perhaps. But they were crazy for getting their sub duty from their pals.

  3. Subs who sub in order to be fun and teach rule bending are horrible. I know some. I'd rather cancel class than let someone like that ruin my hard work with their need to be loved. Nothing is worse than a proffie who wants to be loved by students, any students.

  4. you should always pick the worst sub possible. This happened quite accidentally to me one semester. I had to go home to take care of my dad and missed two classes in a row for intro to hamster fur. I left a video and some very simple notes. When I returned the kids said "Please never leave us again. He was terrible." Huge bump up on the end of term evals too!

  5. I just subbed in for a colleague who had a health emergency. My rep on The Site That Shall Not Be Named is that I'm a hardass, and from what I gather, the students had a collective "oh, fuuuuuuck" moment when I returned the assignments that were due while I was in charge. They're glad to have their regular instructor back.

  6. Note to self: if you have to be absent, just have someone push "play" on the DVD.

    The last time I subbed for someone, a student in her class later told the professor that my lecture was the only thing he'd learned all quarter from the class (I lectured from HER lecture notes). She's given me the stink-eye since then.

  7. Testing. I'm not seeing any new comments.

    1. I don't think you need to worry about this: people come and go at their will and post whenever they get a chance.

  8. Dear Kimmie,

    Your yearly medical exam always falls on a busy school week probably because they're all busy.

    If your department is anything like mine, you probably picked that sub because no one else would do it.

    Who knows why you got that note from the sub afterwards. As the SETI people would observe, don't try to second-guess an alien intelligence.

    Your students said, "Dr. Smiley was so much fun!" because they believe it. Whenever my students tell me this, my heart sinks.

    I am never surprised whenever the sub my students loved did half the things I planned. As Master Yoda would observe, it is the way of things.

    Dr. Smiley told your students they could do the assignment in an "alternate" way because there was always room for a "rule to bend" because he is a loser. If I were you, I'd staple his dick to the floor.

    The alcohol not working yet because it isn't whatever Bubba is drinking. I trust it is working by now.

    My sympathies!

    1. I am never surprised whenever the sub my students loved did half the things I planned because, as Beaker Ben has observed, "Goofing off is always more fun than working."

  9. PS. Is it possible to move your annual exam to coincide with vacation?