Dr. Jekyll: Hyde, old chum, have you been giving your special tinctures to the students?Prof. Hyde: Whatever can you mean, my learned colleague?
Dr. Jekyll: I was proctoring our exam yesterday when something unusual happened.
Prof. Hyde: Do tell.
Dr. Jekyll: A student near the back engaged in emesis.
Prof. Hyde: You mean vomited, you pompous windbag?
Dr. Jekyll: Yes, vomited. Blew chunks. The technicolor rainbow. Hurled. Spewed. Barfed. You get the idea.
Prof. Hyde: Remarkable! Did he dash out of the room?
Dr. Jekyll: No, that is the odd part. He stayed in his seat, bent over, and let fly.
Prof. Hyde: Did he excuse himself to the bathroom?
Dr. Jekyll: The answer is "no" again. He attempted to carry on as if nothing had happened.
Prof. Hyde: But surely the students around him moved away?
Dr. Jekyll: For a third time, the answer is "no."
Prof. Hyde: Egads, what about the mess?
Dr. Jekyll: I had a GA fetch some towels from the bathroom. The student and the GA cleaned up the floor as best they could.
Prof. Hyde: The student just carried on? The other students didn't move? I'm not sure what this world is coming to, but I like it.
Dr. Jekyll: That, my good man, is what I fear more than the incident itself.
That must have been some high-stakes exam!
ReplyDeleteI believe Leslie got drunk and gave Cash the keys to the compound.
ReplyDeleteAgain.
My theory is that somebody's trying to generate material for a Real Goddamned Mail post. Note the link under the (backwards) masthead.
DeleteThe only part of this post that really surprised me is the fact that the student helped clean up the mess. That strikes me as uncharacteristic (though hopeful).
ReplyDeleteMy kids are the weirdest mix of determined and utter wuss. I've got one who stubbornly turns up even when he's so sick he clearly can't concentrate on the material, and another who skipped the midterm because (and I quote) "I had a headache." I don't know what to make of these weird children anymore.
ReplyDelete