Tuesday, November 12, 2013

In Which Bella Contemplates the Fact that Colleagues should not Willfully Try to Screw Each Other Over

Bella's List of Dos and Don'ts:

DON'T put graffiti on your colleague's flyer.  Especially when the graffiti is grammar related.  Especially when your grammar correction is WRONG. Learn the nuances of the apostrophe, and then, how about contacting me and asking me or complaining to me about it?  It was not my flyer, but it was on MY friggin' bulletin board.  And YES, I KNOW who you are.  ASSHOLE!

DON'T arrogantly tell me you'll just "bump" your colleague if your course does not run.  Sorry I could not accommodate you to the f'ing letter, but we don't BUMP here.  Ask your union rep, ASSHOLE.

DON'T put your colleague down for asking that an often misunderstood and little known policy is made more clear in the catalogue.  YES, our dean has something against this colleague, which is why said dean has used this little known and often overlooked policy against hir.  SCREW YOU for being so dispassionate about a problem that could bite YOU in the ass soon, too (knowing how capricious this dean is)...ASSHOLE.

DO congratulate a junior faculty member on a minor accolade.  I heard about that (yeah, people gossip here a lot) and I appreciate your collegiality. 

DO attend earnest and hardworking newbie's program. My heart broke at the sparse numbers, but I was heartened by the numbers of sweet old timers who did not have to come, but did just to be supportive.

SORRY I ended my mad rants with an all caps insult, and could not formulate an all caps appreciation of the kind colleagues.  But I thank the compassionate and caring ones, I thank them from the bottom of my heart.


  1. All caps denotes screaming. So, if screaming is warranted, put it in all caps!

    (It's much like back in the old country, when Inspector Kemp said, "A riot is an ungly thing... undt, I tink, that it is chust about time ve had vun!")

  2. We've got those sweet, supportive old timers, too, though I fear they're fast fading away. I like my younger (i.e. same age as me or younger than that) colleagues, but the structural incentives they've experienced encourage them to focus much more on individual achievement, and less on building department community (though they do that, too). That's a loss (maybe one with positive tradeoffs, but still a loss).

  3. I'm not even reading past the headline and say AMEN! If there was every a no-brainer, this is it. Now I'll actually read the article.

  4. It would be nice if we could unite against the enemy (on all fronts). Sadly, we seem a sad bunch when it comes to egos.

  5. With Ryan and Yvonne tantalizing us, how are we expected to read anything? And it's fucking cold here in Ogden. Besides, my 10th grade teacher told me I had a special problem with thinking.

  6. Especially do not write CHILDISH GRAFFITI on colleague's posters. 'Beaver' is an actual animal and the speaker was going to talk about animals. No need for PRURIENCE.

    Yes I am shouting. Just ran a session for some high school kids considering university, some of them were really badly behaved and their teacher just sat there and watched... I spent most of the session focused on three kids who seemed to want to do nothing other than mess up the session for the others. Thank the Good Lord for Bourbon and for not having to teach in a public high school!