A student of mine is an ingratiating ass kisser. Sure, that's sometimes fun, but I made the terrible terrible mistake of finding her Twitter feed a couple of weeks ago when I was in this terrible Twitter-hate spiral.Anyway, Tipper the Twit spent a lot of her saliva today telling me how great my lecture was. She stuck around after class to do this, and it's something that my variable self-esteem sucks up like a chocolate milkshake.
Anyway, Tipper tweeted this treasure:
"My [redacted] professor is so pretentious. I couldn't go the yoga class I like because she couldn't stop yacking."
Why do I do this? Why did I look her up? Why am I still hitting refresh? Isn't her other yoga class out yet? WHAT IS SHE GOING TO SAY NEXT?
Smash her phone with a claw hammer.
ReplyDeleteI would be so tempted to respond on her twitter with something snarky, but that probably wouldn't help you or anyone. But next time she stays to kiss ass, I would ask, "Don't you have a yoga class to get to? I don't want to hold you up again."
ReplyDeleteYou beat me to it. Kimmie, please do this.
DeleteThat will go right over her head. She's too stupid to make the connection. Most of them think we don't know how to use the google machine to look up their brilliant rhetorical stylings.
DeleteIts worth a try Kimmie, it would be so delicious if she did get it!
Delete^ that
ReplyDeleteYep.
DeleteOh Kimmie. Some self destructive part of my wants to find out how to do this (I'm sort of stupid about Twitter) but I am holding back! The little shits. What a mean bitch.
ReplyDeleteYes, DO mention the yoga class nonchalantly. And tell us how she takes it!!!
"me"
Delete@Bella, it's important to have *two* Twitter accounts. One that is not connectable to you and one that is, so you can choose whether to answer as you or as an anonymous coward ;) Sign up for Twitter, log in, search for her handle, and fire away! But you only get 140 characters.
DeleteI think this might put me over the edge, where I feel like I am teetering anyway. So I am going to continue to abstain, although I thank you for the tip!
DeleteAnd now, everyone get into the full lotus position!
ReplyDeleteAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!
Kimmie, you have simply got to stop reading Twitter. Delete the bookmark to it at once, and don't look back: someone with your brains simply does not need that dreck. Take up a less destructive pastime, such as drinking: Bubba can show you how.
^ that, too.
ReplyDeleteThey are all stars of their own reality show. Shows that don't get ratings get canceled. Drama drives ratings. Don't do anything that might drive up her ratings and stop documenting your Arbitron book with her show.
ReplyDeleteWell said!
Delete^^^^YES to all of the above! Twitter wastes your time, emotions and energy, and probably wastes perfectly good alcohol, too. Go take a yoga class...maybe the one she's in!
ReplyDeleteAnd then you can tell her that you'd really like to stay and chat, but you don't want to miss your yoga class.
Delete