A student came to discuss his grade on an assignment with me. The TA had in fact been too hard on him and I gave him a couple more points. Mature student, hard-working, courteous, sane, normal, pleasant.Until somehow the conversation got off track. He was in university, he said, because he had been hounded into it by the police, who had conspired to prevent him from fulfilling his first ambition, which was to be a full-patch member of a motorcycle gang well known in the area and in his home state. He could never get a job or leave the country because of his criminal record for something unspecified but (I gathered) violent. Everywhere he went there were police following him and introducing themselves to him and making sure that he always knew that he was under surveillance, he said. They were making sure he never made anything of his life. So here he was stuck at university because there was nothing else he could do, because they wouldn't let him.
The conversation had begun pleasantly. But as his story went on – and on – I became more and more uneasy. I am a sedentary middle-aged female person. I am not a large person. He was large, huge, and mostly muscle, and apparently had a taste for violence, and he was between me and the door. Increasingly, as the conversation went on, I didn't want him to be. I wanted him to be on the other side of that door, and I wanted to lock it.
He wasn't saying anything threatening; he was just telling me his life story and I think looking for sympathy, but his life story involved an awful lot of criminal contacts, and a criminal record, and a strong sense of grievance against anyone in a position of authority. I am in a position of authority.
His attitude, and life experience, were alien to anything that has ever happened to me, and I hadn't the faintest idea how to respond. I couldn't help but suspect that the police have a lot more to do with their time than to spend their manpower resources constantly watching him wherever he went, unless of course they think he's genuinely dangerous, which did not make me feel any better. Choosing between a description of "unbalanced" and "actively dangerous" for the huge student between me and the door did not present me with any feel-good options.
Finally he left. And I locked the door. He gave me no reason to think he was ill-disposed to me, but my spider alarm was on full alert.
Has anyone else had an experience with the student that they found inexplicably scary? What do you do?
Mildred, I get your spidey-sense. In fact, I have it this semester about one of my students, and it's not the first time. Not that I'm an expert, but these are some ideas that have helped me:
ReplyDelete1. Trust your instincts. If you're on full alert, there's a reason. You were right to lock your door.
2. Tell your chair and your dean ASAP. They may know more about the Hulk's story and should be told that you felt threatened, even if you don't have a specific reason.
3. Campus police should be on your speed dial.
4. To clear my office of unwanted people, including students who want to chat indefinitely during office hours, I get up and make a slow, gentle, inviting arm motion to escort them with me out into the hall. "Excuse me, there's something I need to check on." Then I close and lock my door, walk with the student(s) down the hall, still talking, and then find a colleague's office that's open. "Hi, Jim, I wonder if I could check on something with you." Then, to the student, "Are we done? Okay, good luck on that test / essay." Then, completely ignoring the student, "So Jim, there's this issue -- can I close your door?"
Great stuff. You've obviously thought this out. A hand-held Taser might not be a bad idea.
DeletePlease note that I do not intend any sarcasm to be read into the above. The trouble with text is that it is devoid of nuance.
No offense even considered. After I read Annie Oakley's response (below), I felt that mine was devoid of compassion. She also has it much better thought out!
DeleteHow scary, Mildred. Yikes.
ReplyDeleteI teach in a branch of Hamster Furology that seems to attract unbalanced students. Seriously unbalanced, at times. On top of that, I'm department chair, so I see the pissed off students. Mostly it leads to amusing stories. In three cases, it has led to some really scary situations.
The first thing is to get the student out of your office. Here are some things that have worked for me:
1. "Hey, I really need a cup of coffee. Walk with me."
2. "You know, I think the person who can help you with this better than me is ___________________. Let's go see hir now."
3. "I came across an article that might help you. Let's go to the library right now and get that for you."
4. "I don't keep that form in my office. Let's go to the _________ office and get a copy so we can take care of that right away."
Probably the best thing, if you've got a good counseling department on campus, is to get them to counseling. Say "Hey, I really want to help, but this is far beyond my expertise." I'll tell them that a particular counselor is one of the people on campus I trust the most, and I know they can help. Then I'll walk them there. I've never had a student refuse that.
After my first whack job, I went to the department of Big Tough Faculty Who Teach Law Enforcement Tactics and Are Probably Carrying Weapons and had a chat with them. I explained the situation, and asked for advice. One came up to my building and we walked through scenarios and options in my space. Two of them told me that any time I am feeling even slightly uneasy, to email them with a subject line of HELP and they'd come to my office immediately, and contact security for me.
Because of one of my situations and a similar one another faculty member had, and a new administration, we now have emergency buttons we can click on our computers.
So with this student, what to do? Sympathize. "Wow, that's really upsetting that the cops have you under such close surveillance. You know, I really think you should file a report here on campus so that if something happens, we have something on file and can help you. So and so in advising can help. Let me walk you over there and help you get something together. No, really, I insist."
Find a couple of faculty buddies to have your back. Get some kind of code word system together. Try hold office hours when there are other folks nearby, and check in on each other.
Most importantly, don't ignore your spidey sense. That's centuries of evolution telling you that you need to be aware.
I left out what Proffie Galore added: then immediately contact your chair, Dean, security, etc. Get the student out of your office to buy yourself time to get help.
DeleteAnd I left out what Annie Oakley said, about sympathizing with the student and with Eve, the poster. I also really like the ideas of being able to email "HELP" and having a code word system.
DeleteMildred.
DeleteWhy the hell aren't these sorts of things covered in our "emergency preparedness" orientations? I have learned more about keeping myself safe in the last two comments than I ever learned in those three hour sessions. The "Let me check on something" ruse is really brilliant, and I think everyone should have a panic button on their computer to summon campus security (good looking getting our IT department to set it up, though).
ReplyDeleteThe best advice is the one everyone keeps repeating: Trust your instincts.
Sorry you're dealing with this, Mildred. This job shouldn't be scary.
In a better world, someone would explain to the student that he is sabotaging his own life by talking in a way that scares people and makes them want to call the police. Positive feedback loops and so on. I vote for Cal, Strel, and Wicked Walt to explain it to him. Swiftly and firmly.
ReplyDeleteI know not to trust my spidey sense, because too many psychopathic students fly well below my spidey-sense radar. It is enough for me to know that I don't know which ones they are.
I think women have reason to develop a more acute spidey sense than men do because of the constant (usually low-level) background threat of sexual violence.
DeleteIn the years since the Virginia Tech shooting, we have gotten a much better student in trouble reporting system. I've used it once -- for a student who sounded somewhat paranoid (it became clear in the course of a conversation that he had been convinced for a month or more that the entire class was talking about him when he was out of the room. Fortunately, he sounded cheerful and peaceful about this, but it was scary nonetheless) -- and it seemed to work well (the student ended hospitalized within a day or two of our conversation, whether due to my report or others observing what were becoming pretty clear problems, I'm not sure. FYI, the diagnosis -- which the student revealed in an email asking for an incomplete, which I agreed to -- was bipolar disorder; apparently the manic phase can include paranoia). Fortunately this happened mid-late afternoon, with plenty of people around, and, after saying everything about 5 times, at length, he left on his own (and in time for me to look up the reporting info and make a phone call before 5 p.m.). But I like the various suggestions for walking out of your office and taking the student with you. A serious need to use the bathroom, or a coughing fit that necessitates a trip to the water fountain, might also work.
ReplyDeleteAll of the above said, after that conversation, I concluded that I wouldn't mind having a panic button in my office (and in my classrooms). The idea of building them into the computer is brilliant. One would presumably need a way to cancel the call in case the button was pushed accidentally (and there would need to be some verification procedure make sure one really wanted to cancel), but, given the ubiquity of computers, that would be an easy way to install an alarm system that could be triggered unobtrusively, and it could presumably be relatively easily retrofitted into existing computers (I assume one would need a program that could be activated using a little-used, reprogrammed, key).
I love the tips I read here. These kinds of situations are truly frightening. We used to have panic buttons on our keychains but they took them away from us due to budget cuts.
ReplyDeleteI have been worrying about this very thing since I lost my panic button.
I always feel as though the thing to do is to try to convince them you are on their side. I love the idea about helping this particular guy fight being harassed by the police by going to the counseling center (where, at least in my college, they are MUCH more prepared to deal with this kind of thing). I have also just looked at the clock, jumped a bit and said "Oh, I'm sorry! I am late for another appointment!" I've also used the "walk with me" bit which seems to help get them to leave your office/get out of the way of the door.
Antoinette Tuff, the woman who talked an armed young man at a Georgia school into giving himself up, used the "convince them you're on their side," with the important variation that she seems really to have empathized with the shooter (to the degree possible), and did her best to make sure (with his eventual cooperation) that he actually did get out there alive. That's not an easy trick to pull off, especially when you are, as Mildred points out, a person in a position of authority. Tuff clearly had a lot going for her, starting with her strong people skills, some personal experiences she could draw on to communicate empathy, and a degree of courage, grace, and kindness which few people possess; one of the minor contributions to her success may have been the fact that she was support staff -- a bookkeeper staffing the front desk, if I'm remembering correctly, at the time of the incident. We can't completely give up our positions of authority, but such a confrontation would clearly not be the moment to insist upon it; if there were ever a time to emphasize the institutional limits we face, such a situation might well be it. It's probably harder if the issue is a grade dispute rather than the student's suspicion of surveillance by some other authority figure but one could always point to program-wide requirements, the Chair or Dean's authority to decide whether policies are being applied fairly, etc., etc. -- in short, such a confrontation might be the moment to embrace some of the things we normally hate about the realities of power in the academy.
DeleteI've actually explained, with sincerity (since I truly believe it) that I AM on their side in a grade dispute. If I pass them along, they will never have the opportunity to learn things they truly need to know. I simply won't do that to them, I have said. I've said this line more than once :(and it is, again, true) "You might as well insist that I drive drunk....that's how against my personal morals this request is." I have, quite often, been given an exasperate sigh and treated to a difficult person leaving in a huff (but without becoming menacing).
DeleteSigh. I've also had a few people scare the bejeezus out of me.
I've been followed to my car after a night class, been confronted in an isolated computer lab with no emergency phone, had tires slashed and late night phone calls. This was a normal that, for a while, we were expected to tolerate.
ReplyDeleteAfter a serious issue last term, the rules at my uni have changed. Mildred would now make one phone call and everyone from counseling to security would initiate a new standard protocol.
The only problem is, as Mildred points out, what are the options at that moment. I have a way of saying "and we're done" that gives me a couple moments to get a head start.
Lead-weighted pool cues, Mildred.
ReplyDeleteAny wannabe biker motherfucker knows who uses them (Hells Angels), where they were used (Altamont) and what they can do to the human body.
And I can lean it negligently on the bookcase beside me. Perfect.
DeleteI've been fortunate. Nothing like this has happened to me. On the other hand, I am a bigger-than-average, middle-aged white guy. Some protection is built into things for me.
ReplyDeleteI think that's definitely part of the picture. Women who look like mom but who are much tougher (at least situationally) than the student's ideal mother may be in particular danger. Of course, there are also male (and female) students with daddy issues. so maybe you've just been lucky so far.
DeleteThis sounds like a dreadful experience ... but I can't help but think about TA in this situation. They've obviously been dealing with this student on a more up close and personal level; perhaps they had a reason for giving this guy a certain grade? (I.e. hoping to flunk him out, perhaps?) Or perhaps the TA is just really dumb to almost provoke such an unstable student with a low grade.
ReplyDeleteI had an incident about 12 years ago. A student came to my office hours to ask about a graded homework set--what he had done wrong. It began normally, with me explaining "this is wrong for this reason, this is how you do it", but gradually he became confrontational, insisting I break down every statement basically to elementary logic, to a level well below the prerequisites of the course. I went along for a while, until finally it became an unreasonable, unproductive, circular exchange; at one point he crossed the line into insolence and I told him the interview was over, and to get out of my office (my OHs hadn't ended). He refused, insisting he had the right to be there. At that point I should have called campus police to have him removed, but instead I went over to the other side of my desk and gradually reduced the space between us, as we both walked towards the door exchanging angry words (but I knew better than to touch him.) Once we were on opposite sides, I shut the door on his face.
ReplyDeleteHe immediately went to the associate dean, and threatened to charge me with assault. Somehow he was talked out of it, and I never saw him again. He had acquired a reputation of imbalance in the department, and some colleagues congratulated me for having the guts to throw him out.
Very recently I got curious and tracked him down on the internet, and to my horror discovered that, after taking a break from the U for several years, he had returned and gotten a degree from my department, a mere two years ago. So he must have been very close at times, though I don't recall seeing him. The associate dean he complained to is now the provost.
Thanks to everyone who has commented on this thread. The advise and sympathy have both been very helpful. I will certainly remember the "walk with me" line, also the "I'm on your side" approach - which was easy to pull off this time, since I had already increased his grade. (Inexperienced marker.) I hadn't mentioned it to my chair, since I didn't want to sound like a hysterical female who sees danger under every desk, but now that you mention it, I will.
ReplyDeleteI want to echo the thanks -- I learned more here than I have in 14 years of emergency-management training at my university.
ReplyDelete