You know it's bourbon o'clock when...
...your two best students skip the final.
...your colleague gives top marks to a student who claimed that hamsters are actually alpacas because their argument "showed original thinking."
...thanks to the fuckstickery of said colleague, ALL of the friends (and friends of friends) of said student now want their papers re-graded.
...said colleague assures you they are not, in fact, fucking kidding you.
...the (new) departmental assistant accidentally shreds the pile of incoming essays instead of the pile of old essays that no longer need to be kept on file.
...you get to sit through a half-day presentation on research synergy and customer satisfaction led by the Vice President In Charge Of Clusterfuckery.
...at said presentation, you are seated between the Dean of Douchebaggery and the Director Of Mansplaining.
...there is no 3G or wifi reception in the room said meeting is being held in.
...nor are there cookies.
...a student in one of your previous courses makes the papers...for procuring crack for your Mayor.
...the (government-controlled) liquor stores are in the throes an acute bourbon drought because of a glitch in the supply chain.
And how was your day?