from the CM mailbag: "No, I never considered a different profession. Did you ever consider throwing away those hipster glasses?" "Sure, bring a drink in, a whole meal. Feel free to eat 2-3 courses. I'm just teaching up here and I want you to be happy." "Sure, let's have class outside, and you bring the weed." "My groin is sore. Try your answer again. "Can you shut the fuck up? I'm trying to find the score of the Broncos game."
"No, I'm not being mean and unfair, because you are definitely a useless tool." and "I don't give a fiddler's fart that your grandmother just died. You are writing the exam."
You're quite right, I don't care about your personal success. Why should I?
ReplyDeleteAlso, "From the beginning of the semester, you apparently didn't care about your education. Why should I now?"
DeleteYes, I do think you're stupid.
ReplyDeleteI can tell already you're not going to pass this class. Can you just drop now and save me the trouble?
ReplyDeleteI teach you so that I can do more important things like research.
ReplyDeletefrom the CM mailbag:
ReplyDelete"No, I never considered a different profession. Did you ever consider throwing away those hipster glasses?"
"Sure, bring a drink in, a whole meal. Feel free to eat 2-3 courses. I'm just teaching up here and I want you to be happy."
"Sure, let's have class outside, and you bring the weed."
"My groin is sore. Try your answer again.
"Can you shut the fuck up? I'm trying to find the score of the Broncos game."
O_o
ReplyDeleteDo I know you?
ReplyDelete"No, I'm not being mean and unfair, because you are definitely a useless tool."
ReplyDeleteand
"I don't give a fiddler's fart that your grandmother just died. You are writing the exam."
"Why yes; I do grade papers using the stairstep method."
ReplyDelete"This theorem is too good for you."
ReplyDelete(To a graduate student/ actual quote.)
Here is another one:
Delete"Pearls to swine..."
(Reportedly actually said by a colleague to a class, although I wasn't present.)
Oh, I forgot my favorite! (Actual quote)
Delete"You have psychological problems"
"I don't care that you need a certain GPA to play football. I resent the attention paid to you meatheads."
ReplyDelete"...and you are also a bad influence."
DeleteWho smells bad? Someone in here smells bad.
ReplyDeleteMy fucking cat could solve this problem
ReplyDeleteHey, how about you pretend to pay attention in class, and I'll pretend to pay attention when I'm grading your paper?
ReplyDeleteActual quote from a colleague addressing a student in a class:
ReplyDelete"What's your opinion, Sarah?....no not you, I meant the cute Sarah"
Lolol! This is horrible. And I can't stop giggling about it.
DeleteMaybe you should get back on your meds.
ReplyDeleteWhat's your gender?
ReplyDeleteDo you speak English?
ReplyDeleteAre those underwear red or pink?
ReplyDeleteThat's not what your mom says.
ReplyDeleteHow many psychiatric diagnoses do you actually have?
ReplyDeleteWhat the fuck is wrong with people? Are you all just stupid?
ReplyDeleteThat should say "you people." Apparently I'm a little stupid today.
Delete