Friday, January 17, 2014

Kimmie's Friday Fun • Things Never to Say To a Student.

1. Boy, your skin is soft.

28 comments:

  1. You're quite right, I don't care about your personal success. Why should I?

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    Replies
    1. Also, "From the beginning of the semester, you apparently didn't care about your education. Why should I now?"

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  2. I can tell already you're not going to pass this class. Can you just drop now and save me the trouble?

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  3. I teach you so that I can do more important things like research.

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  4. from the CM mailbag:
    "No, I never considered a different profession. Did you ever consider throwing away those hipster glasses?"
    "Sure, bring a drink in, a whole meal. Feel free to eat 2-3 courses. I'm just teaching up here and I want you to be happy."
    "Sure, let's have class outside, and you bring the weed."
    "My groin is sore. Try your answer again.
    "Can you shut the fuck up? I'm trying to find the score of the Broncos game."

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  5. "No, I'm not being mean and unfair, because you are definitely a useless tool."
    and
    "I don't give a fiddler's fart that your grandmother just died. You are writing the exam."

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  6. "Why yes; I do grade papers using the stairstep method."

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  7. "This theorem is too good for you."
    (To a graduate student/ actual quote.)

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    Replies
    1. Here is another one:
      "Pearls to swine..."
      (Reportedly actually said by a colleague to a class, although I wasn't present.)

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    2. Oh, I forgot my favorite! (Actual quote)
      "You have psychological problems"

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  8. "I don't care that you need a certain GPA to play football. I resent the attention paid to you meatheads."

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  9. Who smells bad? Someone in here smells bad.

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  10. My fucking cat could solve this problem

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  11. Hey, how about you pretend to pay attention in class, and I'll pretend to pay attention when I'm grading your paper?

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  12. Actual quote from a colleague addressing a student in a class:
    "What's your opinion, Sarah?....no not you, I meant the cute Sarah"

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    Replies
    1. Lolol! This is horrible. And I can't stop giggling about it.

      Delete
  13. How many psychiatric diagnoses do you actually have?

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  14. What the fuck is wrong with people? Are you all just stupid?

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    Replies
    1. That should say "you people." Apparently I'm a little stupid today.

      Delete

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