Monday, December 1, 2014

Marc in Marin County Will Not Be Mollified.

Fuckity fuck fuck. Read this today:
Like, where's my
dog, man?
Anticipating a stressful final exams week, Santa Barbara City College’s Luria Library will be letting students “check out a dog” from among the dozen or so Love on a Leash–certified therapy dogs that will be there this Wednesday from 2:30-4 p.m. “We are always looking for creative and positive ways to serve our students, particularly during finals,” said Elizabeth Bowman, the library director, in a press release, and past years have included a “relaxation station” featuring Wii, hula hoops, rocking chairs, and games.
Listen, have you met any college students lately? Mine are so fucking relaxed from Wii, hula hoops, games, and giant bongs full of bud that they do not need any therapy animals to help them. What they need is a German Shepherd to snap at their fucking heels.

24 comments:

  1. Right on! And another thing - why does the library get involved with things like this? As if perserving the accummulated knowledge of civilization isn't enough.

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    1. At the institution where I used to teach, the library was, at first, storehouse of knowledge and, presumably, wisdom. By the time I quit, over a dozen years later, it had become something akin to Romper Room.

      One day, during my latter years there, I heard all sorts of commotion and asked one of the librarians what was going on. Libraries were, in my experience, supposed to be quiet and disciplined. I was told that if someone wanted a quiet area, there were places in some of the far corners where one could sit and study.

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    2. It's obviously because modern students have no use whatsoever for the accummulated knowledge of civilization---or civilization at all, for that matter. My library has a Starbuck's coffeehouse about 10 feet away from stacks of periodicals. All books are tucked away out of sight in the basement, and on compact shelving, so that one risks being crushed to death for browsing. Why? It's because that's exactly the way they want it.

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    3. At my alma mater, I remember seeing signs all throughout the stacks in the science and engineering library warning students not to eat or drink while they were there either looking for books or at the study carrels. Anything they left behind, such as crumbs, might attract pests which, after consuming those goodies, might turn their attention to the books themselves.

      In an act of hypocrisy, the university allowed a coffee outlet to be located not far from the indoor entrance to that library. I'm sure that officials over-estimated the maturity and self-discipline of the students as I'd wager that much of what was dispensed at that location eventually found its way into the aforementioned stacks and carrels.

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    4. I was on the committee that determined our library needed a coffee shop. I kept saying "Um, a library exists to catalog and organize the accumulated knowledge of a civilization, not to serve scones." It did not work. Finally, we had to figure out where to get rid of books so we could get more "lounging areas." Seriously. I actually asked the head of the committee "is this a practical joke?" It was not.

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  2. Good thing they don't have sheep, otherwise my students would keep them much too busy.

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    1. Aw, there goes my Christmas cookie all over the screen.

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    2. They will not be Mollified, but there will be ramifications. Ewe!

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  3. At least they're trained therapy dogs, and not random puppies (or, worse, kittens). I always worry a bit about animals brought into these situations. A relationship with an animal, like any relationship, is a two-way street, and improves with longer acquaintance. One-hour (or less) stands don't always go equally well for both parties (even if no sheep are involved).

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  4. Using a Hula Hoop near a bong could end up pretty stressful. Remember how much a spilled one stinks?

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    1. In UK English, "Hula Hoops" are a crunchy reformed potato snack food which doesn't smell much of anything. I just spent about 30 seconds wondering why it would smell more if spilled, although I quite saw why being high would increase the risk of spills...

      Only three more essays to grade before I can go to bed...

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  5. Our library has a coffee shop too. So one day I found myself at the library, with boxes full of job applications that I had to sort through. Large boxes that I couldn't easily haul to a different location. I was on the 4th floor, where I expected it to be quiet. But no. A couple of students were giggling and gossiping. Not for a few minutes, but this went on for about a half hour. I went over and politely asked them to please lower their voices or move elsewhere (suggesting the coffee shop), and of course I got an earful. I had to then go downstairs and get a librarian to chase them away. Shame on me for expecting a little bit of quiet so I could actually work instead of giggling or flirting.

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    1. Oh I should also mention that my university provides dogs, games, snacks, etc. for students up to and into finals week. Do they have time to study?

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    2. While I was still a grad student, the coffee outlet in the students union building at my alma mater was open 24 hours during exam time. That, of course, assumes that students would actually study during that time.

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  6. We have someone bringing puppies to the student center this week. I bet some of the pets are smarter than my students.

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    1. No, but I've been known to comment on their drafts, "this dog don't hunt."

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    2. These are comments on their ruff drafts?

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    3. Yeah, but sometimes you gotta throw 'em a bone.

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  7. When you consider that an extremely popular dog name is Molly, the title of this post becomes even tastier.

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    1. I am so not going to do the "Ringworm / Ringwald" comment.

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