Thursday, January 29, 2015

Speedy Liar Rant

Dear Liar,

Thanks for telling your friends I "make exceptions" and will over-tally the whole fucking sophomore class into my section of Chem II.  You told me you had a scheduling conflict; they're all telling me they have Professor Not-the-Wombat.  I bet you were in his class too, you fucking liar, and I should have pulled up your schedule to have you show me what the conflict was.

I don't know which is sadder, that you're all too lazy to stay in a class with a professor who makes you think, or that I'm too lazy to bother anymore so I've started to attract flies.  I'll be sure to let everyone in your class know that our class is going to be hella-difficult because the desperate lies you told to get into my section made me realize I've been too easy in recent years.


PS get friends who tell the same lies as you - either everyone lies or everyone tells the truth - you can't mix and mingle without blowing your cover.

PPS F-you


  1. @Wombat: I'd be glad to lend you my staple gun, after Ben gets through with it. If there's no dick, it'll work perfectly well on the tongue. Again, sorry about all the blood.

  2. I get this bullshit too. You do need to check their schedules. It's more work but you get to see them squirm when you as some pointed follow-up questions, like, "What the fuck are you talking about? I see plenty of room for my 8 am class in your schedule."

    Besides this, how's it going?

  3. Students lie about a variety of things, but schedules seem to be one of the most common. I've had luck reminding students who claim that my class is the only one that can possibly fit their schedule that they're supposed to be doing 2-3 hours of prep for every hour in the classroom, which should leave considerable flexibility in their overall schedule (at least if they're full-time). It may seem a bit mean, given how much pressure many of them are under between school, work, and family responsibilities, but it you ask a student who's trying to add your class to show not only the conflict, but also when (s)he plans to do homework for all hir classes, such conversations tend to peter out (they don't realize that we don't consider having every.single.minute scheduled laudable).

  4. I used to over enroll my classes because I wanted to be nice. Then the school bumped our course caps. So I don't get to be nice anymore (not that I'm inclined that way anymore anyway). Also, students who are trying to get I to your class during the first week are either course-shopping, as with your Liar, or they are disorganized and didn't register back in November or whenever. Either way, they are going to be useless in the classroom and a pain on the ass to boot (from experience).

    1. Second this experience. Whatever supposedly-temporary situation kept students from registering at the appointed time has a way of continuing/recurring throughout the semester. Often students in this position need to take a semester off (or with a less-than-full-load), and recover from whatever's going on/get their acts together.

  5. "I'm too lazy to bother anymore so I've started to attract flies. "

    Yep, this has happened to me too.