What goes through my mind, when . . .
an administrator speaks:
"That sounds very reasonable. How much of it, if any, is true?"
a student offers an excuse:
"Fuck. I don't give a shit about policing your personal tragedies. Give a shit about your education and only take time off when you need to, and leave me the hell alone about it."
the University President:
"Whatever you're talking about, it means me bending over a desk, so go stick it up your own, I'm busy with research."
"How do I get on the board of trustees? Is the lobotomy required, or just recommended?"
A colleague talks about his or her research or teaching:
"Come in, sit down, want some tea? I have a dirty mug and some Earl Gray up here somewhere. Seriously. Please, God, please, come in and talk to me."