Sunday, January 31, 2016

What Goes Through My Mind

What goes through my mind, when .  . .

an administrator speaks:
"That sounds very reasonable.  How much of it, if any, is true?"

a student offers an excuse:
"Fuck.  I don't give a shit about policing your personal tragedies.  Give a shit about your education and only take time off when you need to, and leave me the hell alone about it."

the University President:
"Whatever you're talking about, it means me bending over a desk, so go stick it up your own, I'm busy with research."

Trustees:
"How do I get on the board of trustees?  Is the lobotomy required, or just recommended?"

A colleague talks about his or her research or teaching:
"Come in, sit down, want some tea? I have a dirty mug and some Earl Gray up here somewhere.  Seriously.  Please, God, please, come in and talk to me."

6 comments:

  1. dmckeeJanuary 31, 2016 at 1:43 PM

    > Seriously. Please, God, please, come in and talk to me."

    Aaaaay-men! Because aside from a conference every few years those are the only moments when I get to feel like I've actually attained the mythical "life of the mind".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aware and ScaredFebruary 1, 2016 at 8:41 AM

      Multiply this a hundredfold and you have the reality of the online instructor.

      I agonize over every comma and semi-colon in an EMail/grade comment/paper edit fearing that the deafening silence of the Inter-world will translate into a "ghost termination."

      I VERY occasionally get to converse with colleagues who, by and large, share the same concerns as I. But after we get to chat for 5 - 10" after a conference call or drop an EMail about a shared student, back into the abyss.

      Pretty much all I hear from my university/supervisor are blast EMails heralding the world saving initiative-of-the-month or notification that the most recent TPS report didn't have its cover sheet and the world is about to end.

      Delete
    2. AnonymousFebruary 1, 2016 at 12:46 PM

      Toilet Paper Salvage report?
      Trainee Philosopher Savagings report?
      Tiny Pink Sausagedogs report?
      Tripe and Pickles Special report?

      I like acronyms I don't recognise, they're good for my imagination...

      Grumpy Academic

      Delete
    3. Antsy Academic ArthurFebruary 1, 2016 at 1:57 PM

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fy3rjQGc6lA

      Delete
    4. Aware and ScaredFebruary 1, 2016 at 3:20 PM

      Thanks, AAA, was wondering if anyone would catch the Office Space shout out!

      Delete
    5. Jonathan DresnerFebruary 1, 2016 at 5:54 PM

      I have been known to compare going to conferences to "leaving the kids with the babysitter for an adult night out."

      Delete

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