Tuesday, February 16, 2016

A quick top ten from Beaker Ben

In reference to today's post about reporting campus discomforts, I have a few. I'm not expecting a call from the Dean of Students since the statute of limitations has probably run out for these (although #4 still gets me sometimes).

Top 10 things that made me uncomfortable at college:

10. Sitting in the wooden desk seats in the Hampton Science building
9. Explaining my grades to mom and dad
8. Digesting the dining hall's tuna surprise
7. Giving a class presentation
6. Listening to my roommate having sex when he thought I was asleep
5. Discovering to late that my sumer internship cover letter hads three typos in it
4. Opening my eyes the morning after drinking Old Crow
3. Getting chosen last when picking lab partners
2. Raising my hand in class
1. Talking to women

Beaker Ben


  1. I physically cringed reading number five.

  2. Being even 1 second late for anything
    Sharing an elevator with a prof whose class I was taking
    Asking for references
    Realizing Ben was awake when I had thought he was asleep

  3. Something that made me REALLY uncomfortable in undergrad:
    Along the route from one class to another was only one bathroom, which had a traffic probably 3-4 times greater than it and the cleaning staff schedule was designed for. Mighty uncomfortable to deal with when holding it until the end of next class was not an option. Oh Lord the horrors witnessed in there... but on the plus side it steeled me for what I had to endure with public washrooms around the Notre-Dame Cathedral in Paris.

    1. I wouldn't say the washrooms were dirty, but the high traffic bothered me as well. I used to leave home (where I had to share a bathroom) in the morning and often come back late at night (I was employed too and the work washroom only had 2 stalls). It was hard to find a way to linger on the toilet for 20 minutes or so, if you know what I mean. To be honest, except in my home, I still have this problem to some extent. If it's not other users it's the cleaners who could disturb me. I practically have to schedule this particular activity, sometimes by actually going home mostly for this purpose. I wish I could have not only my own bathroom (I do at home), but also the opportunity to use it any time for as long as I need to.

      Curiously, it was in the library building that the washrooms were more quiet.

    2. I know exactly what you mean. Both at work and at school I found secluded bathrooms that were perfect for this activity. I guarded them jealously. Like some sort of... I don't know, poop dragon.

  4. I notice the elevator thing with my students now and it's pretty funny. The panic in their eyes. "What do I say to her?"

  5. Well, it's quite the conundrum. You have elevator etiquette clashing with "bumping into my professor" etiquette.

    1. Wait, you haven't commented in an hour. Could you please tell us more about being a college student who think he's smarter than everyone else

    2. There's a very sick, morbid part of me that sincerely hopes you're responsible for educating young people. I would get a very dark kind of pleasure out of that knowledge.

    3. Conan, man, you'd be surprised. Holy shit, some of the people I know . . . hell, just read some blogs that professors put out.

  6. Grumpy Sergeant. There's the parking issue at my CC and the competition for the rooms between the instructors when classes change. And the young people look at me funny and ask me for directions to this or that place on campus, as if I have an idea. I'm a student.

  7. In other news: Gonad the Undergradarian just informed his doctor that he doesn't accept his medical advice ("Swing and a miss!") based on what he learned in Biology 101.

  8. The thing about using a public restroom is, often enough, you get a nice train of paper stuck to your shoe. It follows you from room to room -- it can't help it, it's just some stupid paper, after all. The dilemma is, should you scrape it off, or just let it fall off when its indeterminate grip weakens? One thing is certain: do not touch it with your bare hands.