Thursday, May 7, 2015

The Purpose of the Test

Background: Spring is one of those special times of year when the air handling system in the Donorbucks Building switches from heating to cooling, or vice versa, sometimes more than once per day. Because the air supply and return vents are not in the same rooms, we must keep our doors open while in our offices to achieve airflow sufficient for sustaining life. While the fans shut down for the changeover, the minutes-long absence of their jet-plane-like roar underscores just how acoustically live the cinder-block-walled, concrete-floored seventh floor can be, and we can’t help but hear almost every word in nearby offices. Fortunately, we’re all pretty quiet, except when a student happens upon the floor. I tender for your amusement what I overheard the other day.

Unidentified voice: Professor Panquehue?

Panquehue: Oh, hello, Stu. What brings you here today?

Stu: Well, I heard from other students that there was an adjustment on the last exam?

Panquehue: Yes, we discovered a problem with one of the questions that resulted in some students gaining another point.

Stu: Well, I feel it's not fair that I didn't get any more points.

Panquehue: Not fair? Please explain.

Stu: My score should have gone up.

Panquehue: Okay, essentially reaffirming the consequent. Please make your case again in different words.

Stu: I should have gotten another point like my friend did, so it's not fair.

Panquehue: I am sensing a pattern here. Maybe I can help. You think another point was due to you, and you are inquiring as to why that didn't happen, such as maybe there was a mistake in the scoring.

"Dating website targets college students for sugar daddies and mommas." Sent In By Ribaldry is My Middle Name.

I'll pick you
up after Chem, baby.
This is one of those stories that I almost can't believe wasn't in The Onion. My favorite detail is the story's subhead: "Florida Ranks Number One." What a world.

The Flava.
Tired of having to work three jobs to put herself through college, a USF sophomore, whom we'll call Ann, joined SeekingArrangements.com two years ago.
"It lets me live kind of a cushy lifestyle while I am in college," said Ann, who chose to hide her identity.
The online dating site matches young adults they call "sugar babies" with sugar daddies and mommas, promising "mutually beneficial relationships" with no strings attached.

The Rest. 

This Week's Big Thirsty.

Q: What Do You Want To Ask?