Thursday, July 8, 2010

All the way to China

As a girl I was told to keep my knees together, otherwise people could see "all the way to China", i.e. my underwear.

One morning in class the well-proportioned jock had to sit in the front row on account of being late and all the more comfortable places where they message each other and watch/make videos during class were taken.

I make it a point to look at each of my students at least once during class. As I was scanning the front row I realized that Jock had made himself comfortable with his legs spread wide open. And there was a big hole in an important place. Not only could I see all the way to China, China appeared to be flesh-colored and be rather hairy.

I blinked, wondering if I was hallucinating (I only had one glass of Chardonnay the night before). No, still there. So I made it a point to not look at Jock the rest of class, although I was mighty tempted.

Dear readers - should I have mentioned this wardrobe malfunction to Jock?

Suzy from Square State

8 comments:

  1. Oh, dear. That front row peekaboo is always alarming. I actually prefer THAT view to the one where the gut falls over the front of the pants...ugh.

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  2. If you say anything at all you are sexually harassing the student. Srsly. Or so they will claim. The only thing to do is what you did: don't look at him. Yeech.

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  3. This just shows how far our educational system has come in teaching about worldwide cultures. When I was a kid we were still using the eurocentric chant "I see England, I see France, I see UnfortunateChildWhoseSelfEsteemWillBePermanentlyScarred's underpants."

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  4. I suspect Merely Academic is right. The cunning student will claim sexual harassment, and the battle will be joined.

    But so might the more cunning Instructor!

    "Jock, I feel violated by your dangling participle. Please cross your legs or at least wear underwear!"

    Imagine this happening with a female student shooting the beav at a male prof. He'd be called a perv. Even though the fairer amongst us know these flakes just need to wear more modest attire.

    Heck, I'll take a flake in Spongebob Squarepants pajama bottoms with the crotch stitched up over one with a hairy schlong revealing pair of sport-shorts or a furry va-jay-jay revealing mini-skirt any day!

    Anything just shy of a chastity belt will do. Just cover up the naughty bits, please! The classroom is not where I wanna see that stuff.

    [I usually look at that stuff at home while reading College Misery, fer crissakes!]

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  5. I agree with the Merely Academic. To provide a helpful hint would be to say that you were looking at his junk...and which could open you up to a harassment complaint.

    OR

    It could be he was intentionally exposing, and YOU got to play a supporting role in whatever effed up fantasy involving your eyes on his package in the oh-so-sexy context of higher education. I wouldn't want to give him that satisfaction.

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  6. This is sexual harassment by the student. Turn him in.

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  7. I thoroughly enjoyed the "dangling participle" remark. :)

    Unfortunately, Meanest, Cranky, and Merely are probably right--saying anything to the student might have put you in a dangerous position. Your choice of action was wise. Don't doubt yourself, Suzy.

    - MoCo Student

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  8. Unfort. I have to agree with what everyone else has said. It would be so much easier though, if a student notices his inapporiate attire. They could complain how he is providing a distraction to their learning environment or as I would say, "Cover that crap up!"

    naiomi G.
    Moco student

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