Friday, August 27, 2010

Fucktard II: The Saga Continues

Fucktard II: The Saga Continues

Yesterday in class you took a preannounced quiz on the syllabus. One of those questions was a request for you to cite the consequences for plagiarizing in my class. The actual consequences are a zero on the plagiarized assignment, and a letter in your file. It was pretty simple.

Despite this, you managed to completely fuck up that answer, along with most of the others. It’s only the second week of school, but it looks like you’re going to be a victim of yet another professor that has refused to recognize your intrinsic greatness. Nevertheless, let me take this little opportunity to correct you on the error of your ways.

Plagiarizing in my class will not result in you having to “go against the Board of Education”. This is college. For most of us. (Though if you do ever have to go against the Board of Education for some reason, I suggest you bring nun chucks. Them’s some wily fuckers.)

In tandem with this, the Board of Education has not, cannot, and will not ever be able to prosecute you and send you to jail. That’s what our legal system does. Not our educational system.

I have to tell you that the mind-boggling shitstorm of no in your short answer to an uncomplicated question left me speechless, and capable of only a single thought: God, you’re a fucktard.

And oh, you got a 40% on the quiz. That’s failing, by the way. Though sadly the Board of Education will not be showing up at your house to arrest you.


  1. Now if only that failing grade on the syllabus quiz gave you permission to drop the fucktard from your class.

    If only...

    This is why I could never bring myself to giving a syllabus quiz (even though I think it's a brilliant idea). All it does is warn you of the oncoming shitstorm, not really prevent it.

  2. I am currently in my 4th attempt to begin class with a required online discussion forum regarding plagiarism.

    I tried asking students to describe what was "bad" about plagiarism (how stupid of me! That led straight to plagiarized papers and "confusion").
    I tried asking them how plagiarized essays hurt the student who plagiarized (some realized the whole circumventing-the-learning-process situation, but most did not).
    I even asked how fellow students plagiarizing hurt the rest of the class (this struck a nerve with quite a few students - someone ELSE cheated? KILL KILL KILL!)
    I am now using a description of plagiarism followed by an example: Suzy copies and pastes notes from an online source into a Notes file. Suzy then copies and pastes those notes into an essay. Did Suzy plagiarize?

    The answers are mixed, with 50% saying she did not plagiarize because she was "conducting research." Others say she did plagiarize, but I don't expect this to mean that those same students will be plagiarism-free by the end of the course.

    I feel quite vindicated explaining how yes, this is plagiarism... but I hate that I am writing this explanation after I KNOW high school drills this same example into their sweet delicate heads for 4 years straight.

    I suppose it's good to start with this conversation early on. BUT COME ON PEOPLE!!!! How much simpler can we make it?!

    (I like your use of fuctard here. It's a word making its way ever higher in my student-oriented lexicon.)

  3. The syllabus quiz is the most entertaining shit I read all term. Highly recommend it. I mean, look at the post generated by one. Priceless.

  4. Hmmm...

    I just remembered I once had a potential elementary school teacher ignore the syllabus for a course (particularly all those pesky little things about the ever-popular plagiarism). Imagine if I could have quizzed her, then notified the Board of Education when she failed to make sure she NEVER GOT HIRED!



Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.