August 31 is, for many of us, the last real day of summer. September 1 rolls around, and poof--we're on contract again.
For your viewing (dis)pleasure, here's what the CM commiserants have most commented upon this summer. It's a list of all posts with 20 or more comments. (12 posts out of 269, or 4.5%, for those who are numerically inclined.)
Enjoy!--or, erm, no, maybe not. We shouldn't end the summer by being agreeable, now, should we?
- 46 comments: Hey, Proffies: Be Hot Like Me at Your Own Risk (Dr. Snarky)
- 32 comments: On Civility: A Question (Fab Sun)
- 29 comments: Drop the Invisible Sword, and Back Away Slowly (No Cookies)
- 26 comments: What to Do (Fab Sun)
- 23 comments: Meany Gets Earnest and Climbs Up On the College Misery Soapbox (Meanest Professor Ever)
- 23 comments: Student Essay! (Academic Monkey)
- 22 comments: (Not) Hot for Student (The Arrogant Student)
- 22 comments: Beaker Ben Bares All (Beaker Ben)
- 22 comments: The First Official CM Vidshizzle. The First Day! (Fab Sun)
- 22 comments: I Almost Missed the Great Fucktard Debate of Summer 2010? Crap! (Dr. Snarky)
- 21 comments: Tell Me a Story (Meanest Professor Ever)
- 20 comments: Hey, Adjuncts--GTFO! (Dr. Snarky)
I did not know there would be rankings. Fuck. Why did no one mention this fact? It would have been helpful when I decided to accept the posting invitation (what is with the 100 mark anyway).
ReplyDeleteHow about this for smackdown:
ReplyDeleteFreddie Football Player: No, it is not my fault you can't read your schedule and the admonitions printed on said schedule. When it says on your schedule (printed from the enrollment management system directly by your coach) that while the first day of class is technically a "lab", attendance is still mandatory, it means MANDATORY. No amount of bitching to your coach and his subsequent bitching to me will change the fact that you are not enrolled in the class. What was that? Your schedule says you were on the Wait List? And you missed the first day? Why am I wasting time on you. Go away.
Johnny Jackass:
When you send me an email with a request to add my class that reads (to the letter, only the class name changed) "HI I AM TRYING TO ADD THE CLASS DMBASS101.. PLEASE." I feel hunting you down and slowly removing your hands from your body (preferably in a painful, bloody, Dexter-ish manner) so you can NEVER send another professor an email like this again. Go away.
Molly McMoron:
When you come into class late (albeit only 5 minutes, I'll give you that) on the second day of class (how odd, you missed the first; do you happen to know Freddie?), walk directly to the front of the class where I am actively taking roll, and you ask "Do you have room to add anyone?" in an overly full classroom, you have absolutely no room to complain when you receive a scathing remark (in front of everyone) to the effect of "Even if I had room, by your actions you just lost your chance to be enrolled, you selfish, entitled, arrogant, must-be-the-center-of-attention-and-try-to-persuade-the-professor-to-add-me-by-having-my-chi-chis-flop-out-of-my-top-if-I-breathe-too-deeply-or-make-any-sudden-movements skank of an ass clown. Don't go away mad, just go away." What a fuckstain (see a late comment in the "Fucktard" comments).
Wow, I feel better. That was cathartic. Look out tomorrow, here I come.
How about this for smackdown.
ReplyDeleteFreddy Football Player:
No, it is not my fault you couldn’t read your schedule or the admonitions printed on said schedule. When it says on your schedule (printed directly from the enrollment management system by your coach) that although the first day is technically a “lab” day that attendance is mandatory, it means MANDATORY. If you can’t read your schedule, how can I expect you to read your textbook. What is that? You say that your aren’t enrolled, but on the Wait List. Why am I wasting my time with you. Go away.
Johnny Jackass (at least I assume that this is your name since it wasn't included in your email):
When you send an email to me that reads, to the letter (only the class name is changed) “HI I AM TRYING TO ADD THE CLASS DMBASS101.. PLEASE.”, it makes me want to hunt you down and slowly remove your hands from your body (preferably in a painful, bloody, Dexter-ish manner) so you can NEVER send an email like this to another professor. Actually, I probably only need to remove one hand, if you know what I mean. Go away.
Molly McMoron:
When you walk into class late (only 5 minutes late, I’ll give you that) on the second day of class (you missed the first day; do you happen to know Freddy), walk directly up to the front of the classroom where I am actively taking attendance (good Lord, my voice is louder than air raid sirens), and ask “So, are you adding people?” in front of an overly crowded classroom, you have no right to look indignant when I say something to the effect of, “Even if there was room, you just lost your chance you selfish, entitled, arrogant, must-be-the-center-of-attention-and-attempt-to-persuade-the-professor-by-wearing-something-so-low-cut-that-my-chichis-will-fall-out-if-I-breathe-too-deeply-or-make-any-sudden-movements skanky whore of an ass clown. Where are you going? Oh well. Don’t go away mad, just go away.” What a fuckstain (see a late comment in the comment section of Dr. Snarky’s “Fucktard” debate; wholly appropriate here).
Wow, that was cathartic. I feel much better. Look out tomorrow, here I come.
How about this for a smackdown.
ReplyDeleteMolly McMoron:
When you walk in late (only 5 minutes, I'll give you that) to the second class session (you missed the first, nitwit), walk straight to the front of the classroom where I am ACTIVELY taking attendance (good Lord, my voice is louder than an air raid siren), and ask "So, are you adding any students?" in front of an overcrowded classroom, you should not act indignantly if I respond to you with something to the effect of "Even if I had space, you blew your chance you selfish, entitled, arrogant, must-be-the-center-of-attention-and-try-to-persuade-the-professor-to-add-me-so-much-that--I'll-wear-a-top-so-low-cut-that-my-chichis-will-fall-out-if-I-breathe-too-deeply-or-make-any-sudden-movements skank of an ass clown. What, you don't want to stick around. Well, don't go away mad, just go away." What a fuckstain (see a late comment in the comment section of Dr. Snarky's "Fucktard" post).
Wow. That was cathartic. Look out tomorrow, here I come.
texpat: Blogger software only allows 100 registered blogers at one time.
ReplyDelete