I wanted to comment on Stella's post, but it's not possible to include an image in the comments. As far as I can tell. So go read the previous post and then come back here. I just had to include this photo of Marty Feldman.
Occasionally, I get a student like Stella's McFucktard: All too often a crystal meth addict. Speaks in incoherent blips and blops. Is irrationally optimistic. Has zero attention span. Sleep-deprived. Really, really, really eager one day, and then disappears for the next two weeks, then reappears, disappears, etc.... And those Feldman eyes. That's the giveaway.
I see the Marty Feldman sleep-deprived junkie eyes on the first day, and I know the student will get a D or F.
And I start praying, "Dear Jesus, please help Feldman realize that he has too many issues and shouldn't be here. Dear Jesus, please be kind when you darwinate this poor Feldman. Please, Jesus, don't let this Feldman suffer too much. Protect him, Jesus, because you and I both know Feldman doesn't have a clue or a chance. Be merciful, Jesus."
P.s. If you are related to Marty Feldman, please forgive me. I loved Young Frankenstein.
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ReplyDeleteThis is a comment, too.
ReplyDeleteIt depresses me particularly to watch these people flail about as the tuition-refund drop-due date whips by, and the date to get a W. . . Just, argh, fucking WITHDRAW if you're going to disappear off the corners of the earth after week 2. Paying to not-actually-take a class and winding up with an F is so. . . flakey?
I'm so glad we have Headmistress Katie to decide which posts are comments and which entire threads need to be pulled down.
ReplyDeleteWho died and made you List God, Kalamazoo? It's longer, interesting, introduces a new subject (methheads) and has a cool picture of Marty Feldman, all of which make it a post by me. But even if it didn't, I wouldn't presume to shit on the person who posted it. Try showing the same restraint.
ReplyDeleteHey, look, Win Cooper's a misogynist pinhead!
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, and he can't spell (Maricia and Menstra (presumably from klytaimnestra?).
ReplyDeleteAnd speaking of bitchitude: I want to take this moment to bow down to Stella from Sparksburg and Great Lakes Greta, who are razor-sharp funny without telling anyone what to do, and can go mano a mano with the boys.
And Katie, apology accepted. I'm sorry for being cranky. Peace, mon
(Here's hoping I allowed to comment on this post-comment and not just on the meta crap)
ReplyDeleteBubba, how's come your Feldmen show up on the first day? Mine don't come until the second or third week with lots of excuses and long-winded stories about why they need me to help them to pass *this* time around.
Marcia. He's not a misogynist, maybe a pinhead, though. But he said you and klytaimnestra were bitches, not ALL women.
ReplyDeleteAnd based on your comments, you really are a bitch. So, you stand corrected. Now go brush your fucking hair a hundred times and shut your fucking trap.
Best post ever, I'm dying.
ReplyDeleteSorry, PoPo, but "bitch" is a misogynist word no matter who it's aimed at. Careful there in the department, or you might land yourself at the Ministry of Sweeping It All Under the Rug.
ReplyDeleteI"m so confused! Why are people allowed to delete their posts? It's just that it really does mess with the flow of the comments and...stuff....
ReplyDeleteOkay...back to work on syllabi! I have another week though, yo! It's great to be me (right now! I'll get back to ya on that Dec. 26th)!
Well, to adapt a former mentor's wisdom to this meta-post...
ReplyDeleteBetter to be a bitch than a total fucking idiot.
Kiss something, PoPo. Just not your Mom; she deserves better.
I find this absolutely unbelievable. I have to be told I'm not worthy of my own mother because I think Marcia Brady - who acted like a bitch - is a bitch? And thinking Marcia Brady is a bitch means I'm a hater of women?
ReplyDeleteWhat a dismal conclave this place is.
quitcherbitchin Popo!
ReplyDelete...[woops!]