Step right up to the Education Game. Here are the rules:
1. If you pay your tuition, you can expect a place at our school, even after you have failed more than the number of classes that should get you kicked out of our school.
2. You can copy others' works as much as you want with no consequences because we won't back up TAs, or even Full Professors. Copying others' works is wrong and we have rules against it, but... See also: Rule 1
3. We like money. We think that teaching you Arabic and German are wastes of it. We used to think that Sports Management was a waste of our money, but we were told that we would lose more money if we cut it out, so we just moved it to make it look like we're cutting it.
4. That new building you are sitting in cost us more money than you will see in ten lifetimes, so, don't be surprised when we shut down half of it this winter because we can't afford to pay somebody to shovel snow and we can't afford the heating bill.
5. Don't worry if you don't like the grades your teachers gave you, you get to give them grades at the end of the semester via student evaluations. [I once got in trouble because my evaluation score was below average...by the MATH DEPARTMENT!!! They should know that, by definition, not everybody can be above average!]
Well, these are the rules. Be sure to make your checks payable to...